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Lighten the Fuck Up! He Whispered Something in Her Ear, Then They Left the Pub Together...

Dmitry_Tsvetkov. Getty Images.

An older guy was sitting at a bar drinking and checking out the single women at the pub. As he sipped his beer he watched a young guy enter the pub, take a seat at the bar, and order himself a pint. Shortly after, he walked over to an attractive young woman and whispered something in her ear. She smiled, and then they immediately left the pub together…

The next night, the older guy was there again and the same young guy entered the pub, sat at the bar, ordered a pint, walked over to another attractive young woman, and whispered something in her ear. She smiled, and then they immediately left the pub together…

The following night it happened again. So, on the fourth night, the older guy approached the young guy, "Pardon me mate, I've seen you pick up three attractive young lasses the past three nights. How are you doing it?" 

The young guy was more than happy to share his secret with the older guy. "It's easy. I just whisper in their ear, 'tickle your ass with a feather?' If they say yes, then we leave together. If they're offended, I tell them I said 'typically nasty weather'…"

The older guy nodded his head, thanked the young guy for the tip, bought him a pint, and then continued drinking heavily, waiting for his chance to give it a try… 

A couple hours later, just after last call, an attractive young woman took a seat next to him at the bar. After a few minutes, the older guy leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Stick a feather up your arse?" 

The woman turned, glared at him, and then asked in an angry tone, "Excuse me?"

 "Fuckin' rain, aye…"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968