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My Completely Unbiased All-Star Ballot For The Dozen All-Star Team

I had no clue we were doing an All-Star Team for The Dozen until last week, but I'm not surprised since the D in Jeff D. Lowe stands for Don't Know What's Going On Under That Motherfucker's Finely Coifed Hair. I take my voting for The Dozen All-Star Team extreeeeeemely seriously and even had Tom Verducci explain just how important this honor is.

Anyway, here is my completely unbiased ballot:

Kirk and Chris are the obvious picks because they are trivia savants that lead the league in scoring (with your pal Clem here sneeeeeeeakily in the Top 5 for points per match. Not bragging just simply pointing out some #Analytics). I witnessed Kirk's dominance first hand when he took down Ziti last year while Chris is such a good Dozen player that Reags was willing to sewer TWO of his coworkers for a chance to become teammates with Chris' brain.

I then voted for my teammates on Ziti followed by myself because I'm a team guy first and a me guy second. Credit to me for that. Maybe Reags could learn a thing or two about the benefits of being a good teammate since Ziti made it to the Championship Championship last season while he is ring chasing LeBron style.

So vote for me as well as whatever other four mamalukes in this fucked up company by clicking here since it would be an honor to share a Photoshopped picture with fellow big brained trivia players. Plus I have a one million dollar bonus in my contract if I get nominated to the All-Star Game. There may not be any documentation of it anywhere but by hitting Publish on this blog, it makes it true and Portnoy will have to pay up.

Yours In Snacking Off Forever,