Surviving Barstool Ep. 1 | Barstool Coworkers Compete For Largest Cash Prize YetWATCH NOW

Advertisement

Ryan Clark Retires the All Time Hot Take Trophy by Comparing Bill Belichick to God. It's Hard to Argue His Point

"Bill Belichick IS the GOAT. Bill Belichick is the Greatest of All Time. That he knows how to build football teams in his likeness and image. And do you know the only other person they talked about building things in His likeness and image? It was in the Bible. And it was God." - Clark, 12:7

Hallelujah. 

I have to say, it's been quite a process watching Ryan Clark's personal journey from Belichick agnostic, raised in the tradition of Steelers players, to a true believer. And right now he's about as devout as anyone on national TV when it comes to accepting my football lord and savoir into his heart. And I welcome him into the faith with an open heart. All are welcome. 

And as even the subpar Catholic boy that I am, I'm conditioned to be leery of comparing anyone to the Almighty. But in this case, I'm convinced God wouldn't mind. The God I dedicate one hour to every Sunday has to be impressed the work of the one I dedicate 3 1/2 hours to every Sunday. He built a universe, Belichick built a Dynasty. There's got to be a respect there, Creator to creator. 

With one caveat. While I know a lot more about the Patriots than I do the Bible, I just want to caution Clark and all who agree with him that we need to define our terms. I've always considered Belichick to be less of a New Testament figure than an Old Testament one. The God of the New Testament is all about love, peace and forgiveness. The Golden Rule and Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Men. 

The Old Testament God is about suffering. About retribution, plagues and punishment for your sinful ways. Judgement Day and Sodom & Gomorrah and The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He made Lot suffer, wiped out his family and gave him boils on his neck, just to test his faith and win a bet with Satan. 

That's Belichick to me. The one who runs up the score on Joe Gibbs to make mankind pay for the way they treated him during Spygate. Who won three Super Bowls since Deflategate was invented and signed everybody's free agents this year to go after a fourth. And will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger so everyone will know his name is The Hooded One. 

One last difference: The God of the second book of the Bible sent his only begotten son to free us from our own sinfulness. This one puts his sons on his staff and teaches them to make him even more powerful. Amen to that.