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CRAZYTOWN: Ben Simmons Returned To Philadelphia And Reported Back With The Sixers WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE

WILD. Ben snaking back into town during MNF, playoff baseball, and historic Jon Gruden news drop? He would. But I don't think we sincerely appreciate just how batshit this situation has become. Ben Simmons, whether he or his representation/Aussie circle is more at fault, abandoned the Sixers and the City Of Brotherly love with zero remorse. For MONTHS there has been reports of Simmons not only never playing for the Sixers again (with 4-years left on his max contract he signed last year, mind you) but never again stepping foot in Philadelphia. Now? Here's live footage of Ben returning to the Sixers, as exactly reported by no less than a billon people on social media: 

It really is equally crazy and awkward. Woj sad the Sixers found out Ben was back in town when Elton Brand got a text saying that Simmons was OUTSIDE THE BUILDING AND NEEDED TO BE LET IN. That's INSANE. It's been reported the Sixers were in contact with Ben's agent/dickless fluffer Rich Paul "Around The Clock". Did his agent not even know? Did Ben just decide enough is enough and showed up on his own, which means maybe he hasn't been the asshole this entire time (Note: This assumption would mean Ben's still 'A' asshole, just not 'THE' asshole)? Or is this some sort of elaborate scheme to make Simmons not seem so at fault for the entire situation to make the reunion a little less cringe? Yo no se. Of course Glenn Rivers is clueless about the entire situation but at least Joel Embiid continues to be the most perfect person to ever exist: 



As for the short term future of Ben Simmons and the Sixers, this ends up 1 of 3 ways: 

A) Ben Simmons makes up with the team/organization/fanbase, proceeds to ball out, and the Sixers regain the swaggersack form that awarded them the #1 seed. Sure, a drastic improvement to his jumpshot, freethrow ability, and overall offensive aggressiveness would be swell, but that would be a pipe dream bonus at this point (sadly). But there's no denying Ben Simmons starting and playing like normal Ben, as frustrating as it is, makes the Sixers better right now than Maxey or Shake leading the point. 

2) Ben Simmons comes back and pulls a James Harden-type of fatsuit happy horseshit where he's a detriment to the team. If that's the case, the Sixers would be forced to deal with his behavior either via suspension/fines or a trade for lower than desired value. This would also include the scenario of Ben suddenly having a seemingly phantom injury where he would just sit out and nobody could really do anything to punish Simmons. 

D) Ben rejoins the team per usual, plays exactly like the Ben we've come to love to hate. He shows teams around the league he is sane/has some sort of value, and the Sixers are able to trade him before the December 15th deadline. This is probably the most likely outcome at this point, which means...THE DAME TRAIN IS STILL ON THE TRACKS BABY!

Whatever the case, at least things are finally progressing. It's certainly weird and wild stuff that's never been seen before in all of sports, but ANYTHING is better than a season+ long dick measuring/shrinking contest between Simmons and the Sixers in which nobody wins in the end. 

Now, how do we as the fanbase react? Is Ben forever a mortal enemy the likes of JD Drew? Or maybe we are the vindictive ex who makes their partner beg for forgiveness when they come crawling back? Or do we welcome Ben with open arms by, say, Raising A Cat, just like the good ol' Process days? I think Rone has the appropriate answer here: 

Never forget, but certainly forgive. Especially if Ben someway, somehow comes out dropping 25 a game with a jumper as wet as the falls of Niagara (will never happen but we can dream, dammit). Follow Rone, myself, and the Philly crew through First Time, Long Time for more - 


And please do me a favor and CUE IT!!!