Catholic Memorial Reinvented The Advertisement Game With The Absolute Worst Billboard Of All Time

I am upset. It has to do with the billboard but it also has nothing to do with the billboard. I’m upset this wasn’t tweeted at me daily from the second this billboard went up until I acknowledged it. I shouldn’t have found out like this. No way, no how. I should have received a dozen pictures the second this went live. That’s how preposterous this billboard is.

I think I have to file a class action lawsuit on behalf of anyone who ever gave a single cent to this institution of academia. CM is where I spent seventh-twelfth grade. They have me blocked on Twitter. Me! Can you believe that? I certainly can’t, mostly because I’m a delight, but also mostly because you’re just a school the fuck are you doing blocking anyone? Tweet out if there’s a snow cancelation and don’t worry about your mentions. I digress. You cannot claim to be a learned institution and then plaster this sucker up in the same breath. Those two extremely conflicting things cannot coexist.

But how - HOW - could a Catholic institution claiming to be a place of learning ever let this concept get out of the meeting room and onto a billboard in public? I don’t know if you’ve seen SPOTLIGHT or ever read the news but it turns out the Catholic Church does INDEED know boys. I guess that’s their logic, they weren’t lying? Hard to say for sure since, again, I’m blocked. If only they had a graduate proficient in short-or-longform messaging that could have lent them a hand prior to this one going live. Maybe if that same person happened to have climbed out of their social media job and risen to the ranks of editor of a growing media conglomerate, that very person could have given this a once-over and maybe made some suggestions. Ah well, nevertheless!

The real, true reason I’m upset about this is simple: that yellow building you see behind this advertisement for an all boys Catholic high school belongs to our friend, Elio. That’s Tony’s Place, home to some of the best pizza in town. I can’t imagine business has gone unaffected in light of this billboard being erected right on his front lawn. You talk worst things a group of Catholics have ever done this is up there. Not in the top hundred but it makes the list no question.