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Lighten the Fuck Up! She was 35, Unmarried, and Still Living At Home With Her Parents...

kirillica. Getty Images.

Mrs. Taylor was walking down the hallway when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed and getting intimate with a vibrator…

 Mrs. Taylor was shocked and asked her daughter, "What on God's earth are you doing?"  

Her daughter replied, "I'm 35, still living at home with my parents, and this is the closest I'll ever get to having a husband…"

Later that week Mr. Taylor was in the kitchen when he heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs he found his daughter naked on the sofa and getting intimate with a vibrator. 

Mr. Taylor was immediately concerned and asked his daughter, "What in heaven's name are you doing?"

The daughter replied, "I'm 35, still living at home with my parents, and this is the closest I'll ever get to having a husband…"

A couple of days later Mrs. Taylor heard the humming sound again, this time in the den. In there, she found her husband sitting in his recliner watching football on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him on the couch… 

"What in the world are YOU doing?" she asked. 

He lowered the sound, looked up from the TV, and said, "Quiet honey, can't you see I'm watching the game with my son-in-law…"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968