All across the interwebs last night, folks were astounded and downright disgusted by Jerry Jones sprinkling a little salt onto his McGriddle. Even Old Balls is out here calling the move "positively diabolical".
Now here's the thing--I hate Jerry Jones. I want nothing more than for this man to experience pain and disappointment year in and year out (as far as football goes. As an actual human being, I hope he has a decent life. But we're talking about football here and I hope it's just nonstop misery for the Cowboys). So I'd love nothing more than to pile on Jerry Jones with the rest of the internet and mock this man for his dietary choices. But...well...I simply cannot. And somebody has to step up here and be the one to say that this move isn't nearly as "diabolical" as everybody wants it to be.
You see, something went terribly astray here in the ol' US of A. I'd say places like McDonald's and others who serve AGGRESSIVELY processed foods have had a major impact on it. But there is this massive aversion to salt nowadays. People just automatically think that adding salt to your food is going to put you in the express lane towards a heart attack. Salt has been unfairly attacked and demonized because too many people stuff their face with overly processed foods for 4 meals a day and wonder why their arteries are as jammed as traffic on 76 every hour of the day.
But salt is your friend. Maybe not adding a brick of salt to every meal. But salt in moderation is your friend. Salt is a flavor enhancer. Salt brings out the best in everything. And when you're an old sack of shit like Jerry Jones and your taste buds are probably worn to shit with the amount of Roger Goodell's ass you've been licking? Well you need to load up that McGriddle with salt if you want to have any sort of taste at all. Especially when this old bastard probably has to take out his teeth to eat it, so it would just be like swallowing some mushy cardboard without the salt.
Moral of the story is that as much as I hate Jerry Jones and would love to pile on here, I feel like I need to defend salt even more. Salt makes everything better. Granted, the McGriddle on its own probably has as much salt as the Atlantic Ocean in it already. But again, Jerry Jones is like a thousand years old. Let this man enjoy his McGriddle the only way he possibly can, and let's just shit on him for whatever horrible football decision he makes next.