Some French Team Manager Has A Rock Hard Dick Because Of Leo Messi - His Words, Not Mine

Take it easy there, pal. Listen you can be excited about Leo Messi joining your league because it means more viewership and likely some more money coming into the league, but you can't be talking about rocking some wood because of the guy. He's not even coming to your club. You coach Brest (lol, Brest, let's just be immature about this entire blog and pretend it's pronounced exactly as we want it to be). Last time I checked Messi didn't have Brest on the short list of teams he was going to go to. Nope, instead he's going to land with PSG. 

I do appreciate that this guy said he wasn't going to be polite about it. Went with the right terminology too. Saying you got a hard on helps people accept it. You can't say you're rocking wood. You can't say you've got a raging boner. Have some class and say it's a hard on for Messi. Honestly this is every dude's fear throughout school. No, I'm not talking about getting hard for Messi, I'm talking about having to deal with a boner at the wrong time. Every single dude has had the fear of getting called up to the chalkboard and standing there with a chub. You gotta find a way to quickly do the up tuck (the only correct move) and escape with no one noticing. This dude just flat out admitted it. Shocked he didn't walk out of that press conference like Will Ferrell. 

Listen, his boner is strictly professional. This is what Messi has to deal with by going to PSG though. Should have come to Tottenham where managers don't talk about their dicks.