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Mosquito Tornados Are Somehow A Thing And Are Blocking Out The Sun In Russia

Smitty
Smitty7/19/2021 4:30 PM

MOTHERLAND - The horrifying moment 'tornadoes' of mosquitoes blotted out the sun in a Russian region over the weekend has been captured on video.Thick, fast-moving pillars made up of millions of insects were seen on the eastern coast of Kamchatka, wreaking havoc among the locals.From a distance, pictures from the region appeared to show a cluster of tornadoes swirling dust and dirt into the air. But when filmed from within the clouds, the footage showed that the tornadoes are actually made up of millions of the unwelcome insects. 'I drove through the cloud of these mosquitoes for several hundred metres,' said Alexei, from Ust-Kamchatsk. From a distance, the swarms looked like a series of tornadoes picking up dust.


Russia, man. Some countries stick with poverty, crime, or even plagues to make life miserable for its peasants. The Motherland has all of that and shit not even written about in Revelations. Mosquito Tornados? Fuck off, Comrades. But then again, can't say I'm surprised. Mother nature is THE bitch in the Motherland. Every animal is deadly. Take Homer Simpson's advice to heart - When the sign says don’t feed the bears, man you better not feed the bears. Shit, I would like you to meet pants.
And that's just the animals. People forget Russia is where Internet 1.0 and 2.0 thrived on a daily basis. You don't want to mess with the humans over there, especially while driving. Why? Ain't no road rage like a Russian road rage cause a Russian road rage don't stop! Seriously. Essentially legalized Road Rash over there.

I guess it’s a good rule of thumb to never take your fists to a Russian road rage fight. You have to assume all of the handheld weapons available in GTA could be in any vehicle over there at anytime. It wouldn’t shocked me if a road-raged Commie would fight back with anything from a machete to a chainsaw to tossing a Molotiv Cocktail attached to his vodka soaked wife. So, yeah, gotta at least have a wooden stick ready to dance. Only in The Motherland.

PS - One of my favorite criminal-related stats in World history. Comically batshit. 






mosquito tornado+ 3 Tags
Smitty
Smitty7/19/2021 4:30 PM