The Winner...AND STILL HOME RUN DERBY CHAMPION OF THE WORLLLLLLLD: PETE ALONSO!!!

Pete Alonso every time he shows up for the Home Run Derby:

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?!? 

Peter Morgan Alonso went into this Home Run Derby as like the 3rd or 4th most talked about contestant despite being the reigning champion and all he did was launch a million fuckbombs around Denver, danced as New York classics like Shook Ones and Hypnotize blared from the speakers, caused Eduardo Perez to drop some caliente Spanish calls, and most impressively lived up to the hype while wearing a Mets jersey with number 44 on the back.

Jeff Roberson. Shutterstock Images.

~shudder~

Taking a down a Royal and National along the way was a nice bonus. Beating a guy like Trey Mancini considering all he's been through, not as much. But Pete Alonso was clearly put on this planet to hit baseballs very far just like Joey Chestnut was put on this planet to shove tubesteaks with bread down his throat and anybody won't stop for no one.

I would be completely remiss if I didn't shout out Dave Jauss, who was the real MVP throwing absolute meatballs that caught more of the plate than the entire 2019 Mets bullpen combined.

For Pete sake, that is a preposterous chart. Eat your heart out Cousin Derek! 

Considering how effortless those swings were, how dialed in Pete was during those interviews, and how serious he took this "exhibition", I am not worried about that grown ass man having a post Derby hangover.

I love that man. Time to spin that Daddy Yankee chain again!