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If You Ain't Lyin, You Ain't Tryin - Everyone Lies On Their Resume

 

Message to the kids these days- lie on your resume. Or at minimum, stretch the hell out of the truth. Like what Hubbs said, did you go to Syracuse and major in comm? They don't need to know you weren't in the prestigious Newhouse school. Ever take a computer class in 8th grade? Voila, you're great at Excel. Maybe drop a "V-lookup" for extra credit too. Maybe you're like Hank and you did 1 semester at film school where you took all prerequisites? Well good news, you now know how to film, edit, and produce, you're basically Spielberg. 

If you're straight out of college, you don't want to 100% lie on your resume, but you definitely want to make yourself look better than you really are. And if your place of possible employment starts checking things like college GPA, they're the worst. Nobody needs to know your college GPA, they just need to know if you can show up at a reasonable time in the morning and pound the keys until 5:00. They also want you to have a sense of humor- don't forget, you're stuck around these people 8 hours a day until you die, they want to at least enjoy the company.

Sure, you might actually have gone to Harvard and been in extracurriculars and saved the dolphins during spring break, but for the rest of us, if you ain't lyin, you ain't tryin.