The Latest WILD Airplane Brawl Took Place As The Combatants Were Flying The Friendly Skies

What the fuuuuuuck man? I know tensions have been flying high in airplanes as everyone tries to escape the home they were cooped up in for the last year, but this shit is getting out of hand. I can understand exchanging fists of fury while you are waiting to board the plane, side-eyeing the person who says they are in Zone 3 passenger when they carry themselves like a Zone 5 passenger at best. I also get fighting during that pressure cooker that is boarding a plane, hoping you get an overhead compartment, and preparing the fly for hours after whatever tomfoolery took place getting to and around the airport. Even getting off the plane is prime tussle time as everyone unbuckles their seat belt in unison so they can rush into the aisle and stand in line to get off that overcrowded tin can.

But when that plane is in the air, the only enemy in my mind is the air (as in turbulence) along with any sort of turf battle for arm rests and reclining rights that have been going on since the Wright Brothers first took off. Getting into a fight in a 3 foot space while you are still at the mercy of Mother Nature with unpopped ears is no way to live. 

In fact, pilots should combat this newfound bloodthirstiness in the flying skies by occasionally dipping the plane down a few thousand feet just to give everyone perspective on life. Suddenly you aren't too upset about the stranger next to you taking up too much space or breathing too loud if the oxygen masks are falling from above. And that ginger ale that you couldn't even have the entire can of because the airlines are tightening their belts will be the most delicious beverage to ever touch your lips. Okay, that's always the case with airplane ginger ale. But it will ESPECIALLY be the case after you thought you were nosediving to your death. Then once you get that post free fall clarity, they last thing you will want to do is throw blind haymakers at some random person you've never seen before and will never see again.

Shit, I'm pretty sure I just fixed air travel in a blog. You're welcome, world.