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My Newborn Is Only Two Weeks Old And Already Has More Rational Thought Than White Sox Dave

Granted, I'm assuming only one still shits themselves on a regular basis. Which is a big assumption. But I've spent the last two weeks looking after my newborn and roughly the last two years carrying White Sox Dave through Verdansk, and I swear the former could get by better than the latter in not only Call Of Duty, but with actual, rational thinking. 

I mean, look at some of these clips and tell me an infant couldn't perform better at life? 

Now we take the mammal out for another walk in Verdansk. Honk and Mrags enter, as well. 

Pray for us. And join in. We need all the help we can get.