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Airlines May Start Weighing People At The Gate Because Too Many Fat People Are Flying

Passengers could be weighed before they get on jets because Americans are getting fatter and the FAA is concerned aircraft may be overloaded.

Airline carriers are tasked with calculating the weight and balance of their aircraft to ensure its within allowable limits for the safety of the plane. 

Increasing obesity rates in the United States, however, dictate that the standard numbers used by the airline industry to average out passenger weight is likely outdated and therefore, unsafe to use.

Well it looks like I am never flying again. Head on over to and find the make and model that best suits your needs because the anxiety around getting publicly weighed at the gate is going to be too much to bear. I get embarrassed when they have to weigh my suitcase before a long trip. Like the agents at the desk are judging me and I feel the need to explain why my bag is north of $50lbs. "Yeah, well, I've got ski boots in there and my girlfriend had me throw in a few of her things and there's my big winter jackets. I'm not that fat". And that's just about an inanimate object in my possession. I am going to get to TSA if I had a big meal the night before and ask them to confiscate my shoes and belt because I am trying to make weight so I can fly. I feel bad for the real losers of this theoretical policy, which are all the businesses in the terminal. I am going to think twice about those airport beers, McDonald's Sausage Egg&Cheese with hashbrowns, and those "travel" packs of skittles with the zip lock top that I have never used because I stuff my face with them as I sit at the gate. They're the real losers here. My dollars aren't going to be part of the airport economy because I am scared of making weight. 

The only positive thing about this is a built in excuse to not come back from vacation. "Sorry, hun. Gained too much weight on the bachelor party. Can't come home yet. Too fat. I'll text you my new flight information when I am under 230lbs again". 

The truth is that this will never work or come to fruition. Lawsuits forever for body shaming induced emotional trauma and if airlines just cut out "fat people" well guess what...that is probably 70% customer base. And...people have been aware that the population is getting fatter by the minute for as long as I can remember. Nothing has slowed it. Maybe airlines should be trying to make their planes less fat instead of the passengers. That is something they can control. Just strip out all the non-essential equipment and materials. Ever see a cockpit? There's so much going on in there. Some of that stuff has to be irrelevant. Maybe make the start making the wings out of plastic. Ever think of that? A little more engineering ingenuity and a little less telling me not to shove skittles down my throat at the gate. Thank you.