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Thoughts On Birthday Etiquette (Mine Is Today) And Turning 25

-I absolutely hate when people say or do subtle things to let everyone know that it’s their birthday, but they refuse to just outright say it. You won’t catch me doing that today. 

-I don’t like getting happy birthday texts in a group chat. I want a separate text. Because the first person to say happy birthday in a group just reminds everyone else that it’s my birthday. Then I don’t know who actually remembered and was going to text me versus who only did it because they saw the first person’s text. 

-A big problem for me is I never know how to respond to “happy birthday!” texts with the exclamation point. I am not someone who ever uses exclamation points unless I am being ironic. But it feels rude to respond to an exclamation point message without also using an exclamation point. But it goes against everything I believe in to use one. So please just wish me happy birthday without one so I can simply respond “thanks.”

-I don’t believe in early birthday wishes. That does nothing for me. If you wish me a happy birthday 3 days early, I will expect you to circle back again 3 days later. 

-Being that I’m turning 25, a lot of people are asking if I’m going through a “quarter life crisis” that many people experience in their mid-twenties. But the average life expectancy in the United States is 78, so “third life crisis” would be more statistically accurate. 

-If you're someone who doesn’t mention your birthday or make a big deal out of it, then you can’t be too upset if people forget to wish you a happy birthday. If you want birthday wishes, then maybe you should talk about it incessantly for the week leading up to it, tweet about it, make an entire video about it, etc. Make it impossible for people to avoid it. 

-Turning 25 definitely “hits different” as the kids say. At 24, I felt like I was still fresh out of college in my early twenties. Now at 25, I feel like I’m basically 30. I think it’s definitely one of the most significant birthdays a person has in their life. I’ve often thought there should be a TV show about average people in this 23-25 range. You’re working your first real jobs. Living on your own. Trying to hold onto high school and college friends. Dating is weird. Your family is getting older. No show has ever really accurately portrayed this part of a person’s life. One day I will make this show, writing it, directing it, and starring in it. 

Thank you for your time.