I'm not sure if you guys have read the internet lately, but apparently the NFL Draft is tonight. It's true! People have even been doing these things called "mock drafts" where they predict which teams will draft which player. People will then decide how they feel about who their team picks based on all these guesses along with whatever else they read online before we realize the NFL Draft is a crapshoot for all 32 teams, even when there isn't a pandemic making everything a zillion times harder.
Now I am a pretty realistic person in that I know what I know, and more importantly I know what I don't know. And as someone who is a casual college football fan AT BEST as well as someone whose film study is solely falling in love with the YouTube highlights of every guy the Giants are linked to, I know that the people making this decision tonight know a shitload more than I do.
Since this mock draft season has seemingly gone on FOR-EV-ER (said in Squints' voice), we have a pretty good idea at who the Giants could/should be drafting. Since this season wasn't an absolute trainwreck, the G-Men are drafting later than they have the last few years, so who will be available at 11 is very much up in the air as compared to their recent picks inside the Top 10. So I am just going to list out the names most linked to them and give my piping hot #takes on them along with a YouTube video for each so we can all fall in love. I tried to limit the Just Bombs videos as much as I could so we didn't have to listen to the same song over and over.
1. The Bama Receivers (Jaylen Waddle and DeVonta Smith
I have been led to believe that this season is a Make Or Break Season for Daniel Jones (Source: Every single media personality who has talked about this Giants season) and if you are going to decide on your quarterback's fate, you should give him as many weapons as possible. Luckily, there is a chance at least one of these studs is there for the Giants at 11, complete with what I imagine would be a very honest scouting report of both from Nick Saban for Joe Judge since they are great pals in my mind after working together for years.
Now let me just come out and say I have been hoping Jaylen Waddle will be the pick. Not simply because of his insane highlights, his ridiculous measureables. But because I drafted him in my Madden franchise mode and he has been an absolute MENACE.
To be clear, those numbers were put up on All Pro difficulty since I am a very casual Madden player that does not have the focus to be serious enough to play on All Madden. Nonetheless, anybody who has dominated with a college player they drafted in Madden knows just how real that love can be. So I could say Waddle isn't my number 1 choice because of how he performed in a video game, but I would simply be lying to you (I just won my 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years with Waddle so mayyyyybe it's time to actually bump the difficulty up and stop playing after I lose my first four games by a comibined score of 120-14).
Also this stat is ridiculous, regardless if Waddle missed a good chunk of last season.
As for DeVonta Smith, all I have heard about the last four months is how he put up one of the best wide receiver seasons in college football history as well as his weight being a huge problem in him becoming a dominant NFL player, with the number 166 pretty much trending daily on my timeline.
Not a lot to love about that list outside of DeSean Jackson and no Giants fan worth their salt has any feelings but pure hatred for that man. But nobody on that list put up the kind of season that Smith just put up, resulting in the Heisman. And if I know anything about Dave Gettleman, it's that he will mention how Smith won the award for best college football player multiple times the day after the draft regardless of what it means for NFL success, which will give Giants fans aneurysms and Twitter trolls fresh ammunition to torture said Giants fans.
I'd happily take either of these guys though since Sterling Shepard is potentially one hard hit away from retirement and Coach Judge may kill Evan Engram with his bare hands if he plays the way he did last year during his """Pro Bowl""" season.
2. Micah Parsons
I would loooooove for the Giants to finally kill the narrative of never drafting a Linebacker in the 1st round since Carl Banks back in 1983. It sounds like Micah Parsons is an absolute stud but does have legitimate character concerns. Like Coley said in his blog about Randy Moss in the 1998 draft, if you hit on a super talented guy who fell because of character issues that didn't carry over to the pros, you are golden. However, if those concerns bubble up, you get this.
If the Giants are truly serious about drafting Parsons, all they have to do is ask Coach Chaos what he thinks of Parsons as a person.
If Coach Chaos signs off, you draft Parsons without thinking twice because in this house, we believe in all things Coach Chaos. If he doesn't sign off, you move on while pinky swearing that one day the Giants will have a stud linebacker again.
This is the part of the blog where I put Antonio Pierce's tackle against the Packers in the NFC Championship Game.
3. Offensive Line (Rashawn Slater or Penei Sewell)
There is a decent chance either one or both of these guys are gone at 11. But with the Giants offensive line situation entering its 100th year of rebuilding, you have to wonder if Dave Gettleman will finally put together five Hog Mollies worth a damn. I personally think that the Giants like their O-Line enough to not use another first round pick on a guy to compete with Matt Peart at Right Tackle or to move to Guard. But I am also a professional idiot.
No fanbase on the planet realizes just how important offensive line is to a good NFL offense more than the Giants even though it's literally at least HALF of the offensive players surrounding the quarterback every single snap. I always say drafting offensive linemen is like eating your vegetables. It's not fun, but it's very good for you. I also don't eat many vegetables and my body now resembles the Giants pass protection. I'm not sure why I just started roasting myself but if you want to give Daniel Jones all the chances in the world to succeed in Year 3, keeping him off his ass is one way to do it.
4. Defensive Back (Patrick Surtain II or Jaycee Horn)
The NFL is allegedly a passing league, so even though the Giants have an absolute stud in James Bradberry and signed Adoree Jackson to what seems to be the strength of the team in the secondary, you really can't have too many corners. Like I said with Jaylen Waddle and DeVonta Smith, I blindly trust whatever intel Coach Judge gets from Nick Saban. So if Saban tells him he needs to draft Patrick Surtain, I'm fine with it.
I don't know nearly as much about Jaycee Horn, but I heard he's awesome and anybody who is the seed of the man who did this once upon a time is A-OK with me.
It's extremely underrated that this legendary moment in NFL history happened against the Giants
Again, adding a DB at 11 to a secondary that has Bradberry, Jackson, Jabril Peppers, Xavier McKinney, Logan Ryan, Darnay Holmes, and Julian Love seems like a bit much, but I get it. I won't love it, but I get it.
Did you guys know that the Giants last two Super Bowls were won thanks to an excellent pass rush, along with a future Hall of Fame QB? Don't believe me? Here is every sack from those games!
God that was awesome.
Anyway, I am going off of nothing but hearing other peoples' opinions but it sounds like 11 is a bit high to pick the EDGEs in this year's draft due to either injury (Phillips) or rawness (Rousseau/Paye). If the Giants take a guy that ends up being awesome, nobody is going to say how 11 was too high for him. I don't know if I'll be able to handle relying on Lorenzo Carter and Oshane Ximines to get to the quarterback for another season, no matter how sweet their names are.
6. Giants Trade Down
There is a pretty big part of me that hopes this happens so it FINALLY shuts everyone up about how Dave Gettleman has never traded back in the draft even though there is a decent chance this could be his last draft as Giants GM or he could trade back in Round 5 to silence the hyenas. Not only that, but picking up some additional picks would help fill in some of the remaining holes on the roster (Sidenote: Haha fill in holes) while also allowing them to pick one of those EDGEs.
As for my preference, I guess it goes Waddle, Sewell, Slater, Smith, Trade Down To Take An EDGE, Parsons, EDGE, DB. Based on the history of the draft, at least half of those guys will underperform their lofty projections, which will cause all of us to mock the teams that took them after sucking all their dicks during mock draft season. Did I just use the word mock two different ways in the same sentence? Yup, it's time to finish this blog.
In closing, I understand if Giants fans are terrified of what may go down tonight because they are a fragile fanbase after the last few years. But just look at this picture and remember who is truly in charge of what goes down in the war room tonight.
I'll be on the En Eff El Draft Show with a bunch of other wonderful people tonight at 8 PM ET to react to whatever the Giants do. My goal, as it always is when I'm on a livestream here, is to not become a meme. Wish me luck! #LFGG