So...I turned 35 yesterday. A big, old guy, number that is hitting me weird. I feel like I just turned 30 and if I just turned 30 then that means I am going to be turning 40 tomorrow. And THAT is exceptionally scary. I've seen people on this site and other places draft these poetic and grand writings about turning 30 or other ages. I was thinking about doing something like that for 35 and then the more I thought about it the more I realized that I don't really know dick about anything. I don't have any real tips for your career. I can't get you laid. I don't know if you should make your bed in the morning. I don't have any secrets to changing your life. Your life probably doesn't even need changing and if it does you should see a therapist or do some self reflection because whatever ails you I can't fix. That's the only thing I know for sure. I can't change your life, but...I might be able to make it incrementally better. Small victories. Little tips. The big things are up to you.
1) Invest In Good Bedding
I was late to this one and I am disappointed. Girls talking about guys who don't have bed frames has become a meme on the internet. You should absolutely get good bedding, but don't do it for the girls. Do it for yourself. If you spend $500, your life will be better, I guarantee it. A lot better? No. Noticeably better? Youbetcha. Get the nice pillows, the high thread count sheets, the down comforter and the duvet cover. It will be a pain in the dick to get clean but you will sleep better. That's what this is all about. Recreate that feeling of waking up in a fancy hotel.
PS: the girls will like it, buttttttt it's for you.
2) Get A Blowdryer For Your Hair
Truth be told I don't think this is actually a good haircut. I did not intend to go all Tommy Shelby when I sat down at a new barbershop in Bucktown because my normal place was booked solid. The internet thought it looked good. I brag about my hair on the internet a lot but the truth is that I have very average hair. It's fine, stick straight, and brown. It's generic white guy hair #1. The main reason it looks good...a blow dryer. That's it. You just towel dry a bit then blow it dry and it always comes out looking relatively solid. I used to go to a salon in the suburbs in my late 20s and I had this rocket hair girl named Taylor. She said I should be using a blow dryer instead of paste/spray/wax/pomade/etc so that's what I did. She could've told me to chop all my hair off and I would've done it because she was that hot, but she turned me on to the blow dry life and things have been better ever since.
The theme of this blog is "incrementally better" well when you don't have to spend time and money on product that makes your hair hard and sticky that is a good thing. Run your fingers through it. It won't get messed up. Your hands will be clean. Everyone wins when you blow dry.
3) Learn How To Make 3 Dishes That Are So Good You Could Eat Them For A Week
There are only so many times you can order postmates/caviar/etc etc etc. You've got to be able to cook for yourself, but you don't want to be doing it every day because that can be time consuming and annoying to cook for one person every night. What you need to do is make one great thing one day and then eat it for a week. My best thing is that award winning chili shown above. People ask for the recipe, but the truth is I don't really have one. I eye ball spices and mix them in with the sausage, ground beef, peppers, onions, and beans. It's awesome every time and I never get tired of eating it. It is seasonal to a degree so I also have the smoker for the summer months. I'll smoke a pork shoulder which has a ton of yield and then I'll make pulled pork tacos or other renditions all week until that meat is gone. You'll get the satisfaction of making something yourself, you'll save some money instead of spending $45 on an order of bad sushi, and you'll save time by not cooking and shopping every day. You just take that pot out, heat it up, and get back to your couch in time for the first pitch. Tinker with it. Make it yours. Make it good. Create your own comfort food.
Like I said…I don't know much of anything, but these three things will improve your life ever so slightly and that can make a difference. Oh…and tell the truth and make your bed since you spent all that money on the bedding.