Here we go again. Dogwalk has given me an opportunity or an excuse to look up the answers to all the questions I always had. Like why do we celebrate Christmas with pine trees? Why does Santa wear red and white? Why do we celebrate Valentine's Day when we do? I've always been fascinated religion and religious stories. There's something self-evidently amazing about a species of people telling the same stories for 6000+ years and giving those stories grand important. We always learned the when, the where, and they what in school, but they conveniently left how the how and the why.
Christmas trees were started by Russian monks who liked to get fucked up on mushrooms. Coca-Cola made Santa red and white. There used to be a bomb ass Roman holiday around Valentines Day that the Catholics just slid their holiday in that part of the calendar as a marketing too. Same thing for why Christmas is at Christmas. They didn't even try with Easter.
The reason Easter always bounces around the calendar is because it's the first sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. Having the holiest day of your entire religion based on the moon and sun is some devil worship/witch stuff. The Catholic Church usually doesn't fuck with the moon. Even the word "Easter" is just a stolen name from a old old English/Saxon pagan goddess named "Eostre". That Goddess was stolen from an even older Goddess named Ishtar and that bitch was depicted as a Hare/Rabbit and that is where the Easter Bunny comes from.
I am a Catholic. We have BOMB ASS holidays. Nothing can touch Christmas. It is the GOAT. Easter is a sneaky good holiday centered around candy, eating too much, and pastels. Wouldn't trade our holidays for anything. Having said that...we just stole all the best stories and traditions from the things/people we probably killed. We stole it, dressed it up with some Jesus and larger degrees of commercialism, mixed it with shame and booze and bam. That is Catholicism in a nutshell. You can listen to the full podcast above where Eddie and I get into the story how Jesus and resurrection story exists in like 10 other ancients myths about being born to a virgin and dying for 3 days before ascending into heaven or rising as a phoenix. Fastest way to the top of the world religion game is just rip off the stories that already work. Thou shalt not steal, unless it's the rock upon which the church was built.
For the apple pod people