Today In Australia Is A Continent Full Of Nightmares: There Is A Huuuuuuge Mouse Plague Where Thousands Of Mice Are Overrunning Houses, Grocery Stores, And Farms

Reuters- Some rural communities in the Australian state of New South Wales are suffering their worst plague of mice in decades after a bumper grain harvest, local people said. Eyewitness video obtained by Reuters showed thousands of the tiny rodents swarming around a farm in the town of Gilgandra.

“At night... the ground is just moving with thousands and thousands of mice just running around” farmer Ron Mckay told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. Supermarkets are storing food in sealed containers and at least three patients in the local hospital have been bitten by the mice, the broadcaster said “You can imagine that every time you open a cupboard, every time you go to your pantry, there are mice present,” said Steve Henry, a rodent expert. “And they’re eating into your food containers, they’re fouling your clean linen in your linen cupboard, they’re running across your bed at night.”

Ahhhhh Australia, a beautiful island full of beautiful people, beautiful scenery, and beautiful creatures that will kill your ass 10 times over before you know what the fuck just happened. But I think this plague of rodents is worse than the literal predators who can kill you with giant razor sharp teeth or an ounce of venom. 

Getting killed by a snake or a spider or a shark is just the way the cookie crumbles in the food chain. Seeing a zillion mice is a straight up form of psychological torture that nobody should have to live through. If I see a mouse in my house or even something that MIGHT be a mouse dropping, I can't sleep for days, get scared every time I think I see movement, and barely want to eat. Do you know how shook someone my size has to be to not want to eat? But that's the mental warfare a 1/4 pound rodent can have on my feeble brain. Seeing so many mice that they sound like the wildebeests that steamrolled Mufasa's ass would give me nightmares until the day I burnt my house down or ended it all, whichever came first. 

I don't want to hear people saying how you just need to get a cat either. The only thing worse than having a house full of mouse shit, mouse babies, and mouse orgies is being a cat person. No fucking thank you. I love you Australia but goddamn do I not envy you.