BREAKING: Aaron Judge Fixed His Teeth And is Now a Certified Man Rocket

Holy mother of God the gap is gone! In case you forgot, this is what we were dealing with before…

Of all the Yankees offseason moves, this may be the biggest. I mean Aaron Judge looks unbelievable now. Certified man rocket. If I had a wife she'd have a hall pass to have relations with this man. 

Jesus Christ is it hot in here or what? Confidence is everything in life and teeth play a huge part in that. Judge just went from like a 7 to a hard 9 or 10 in a second. Now he can smile while doing these GQ photoshoots. 

The post-gap era for Aaron Judge might be one for the record books folks. Coincidentally, Mush and I both got dental work done recently to fix our own situation and I gotta say it feels awesome. I don't wanna kill myself when I smile anymore. Shout out Dr. Sarin for taking me from a 0 to a 2. I know the hair, the hair, but hey the teeth are no longer an issue which is nice. 

Also, I see a lot of Yankee fans out there bummed about Judge doing this. Who the hell do you think you are? Let the man live! You think he liked walking around with his teeth all messed up his whole life? My man finally got some dental insurance and took care of that shit. I'm all for it. MVP season on deck. You look good you feel good, you feel good you play good, you play good they pay good, they pay good you live good. 

For those mocking Judge saying he'll get hurt soon anyways, well first of all how dare you. Second, there appears to be some science behind teeth and injuries (credit Yankees reddit for the links)

So yeah, we're dealing with a whole new monster now baby. We're looking good and staying healthy in 2021 and beyond. Let's eat.