MAN HUNT ALERT! Australian Police Are Searching For A 'Man-Bun Wearing Hipster' Who Keeps Pooping In The Same Yard

[Source] - Police have been told by the resident in the suburb of Gillen told them it has happened every night for the last seven nights between midnight and 3am.

Southern Watch commander Adrian Kidney released a description of the man they are looking for.

He sports a man bun hairstyle, a full face beard, dark tracksuit pants and light coloured long sleeved jumper.

By all accounts, I can't imagine being the home owner here. Every night you start to drift off to sleep, tucked in comfortably in your bed worrying about kangaroos, spiders, snakes and all the other crazy shit Australia has. You wake up and the first thing you see is shit. 

Giphy Images.

Then it keeps happening. Over and over and over again. This man-bun wearing hipster has targeted your yard as his toilet and honestly it doesn't get lower than that. Your house is now the shit house. Everyone in the neighborhood knows it. People refuse to come over in fear of seeing a hipster shit in your front yard. You can't continue life like that. 

Now we all can agree doing everything is outside better - EXCEPT shitting. Peeing outside? Yep. Drinking outside? Just feels different. Sitting on a patio and having something to eat? Miss that. But this? This is how you know you're dealing with a crazy person. He’s at peace with the world, unloading heavy logs like he’s one with the Earth. 

Oh and it's not lost on me that the hipster is wearing dark track suit pants. That's just A+ decision making in outdoor pooping world. Assuming he's not walking around with TP, so you gotta cover those streaks man. Can't be wearing grey sweatpants. All I know is you gotta move if you own this house. You can't be dealing with a a serial pooper who has some sort of love for your front yard.