Press "Play" and listen to song while reading the blog for full effect
Greetings ladies and gentlemen to the New York City Winter Olympics! Bitch boy covid may have cost us the real Olympic games that gave us a reason to drink at weird hours while cheering for sports we care about for a few weeks every four years as that banger of a song played nonstop. But Mother Nature dumped a bunch of snow in New York City which gave a bunch of people with quarantine fever a reason to go out, play in the snow, and maybe seriously injure themselves along the way in the name of sport!
Highlights from Day One's events included...
A perfect score in The Ski Jumpster (Ski Jump Into A Dumpster):
A world record by the Jamaica Queens Mattressled Team:
Simply stunning slingshot snowboarding by the Washington Heights contingent:
Car snowskiing was electric as always:
An impressive performance in Weirdo Weightlifting:
Speaking of weirdos, I don't know if this is even part of the Winter Olympics because I'm pretty sure these nutbags would be doing this any other day of the year:
Amazing ingenuity in freestyle shoveling:
Finished off by a little bit of stair skiing that may or may not be a scene from Jackass 4:
Tune in tomorrow to see what's on tap once the snow starts to melt and also get really dirty, which will likely lead to the headliner of every New York winter, slush puddle jumping.
Complete with a multitude of strategies to avoid falling knee deep in semi-frozen filth.
God bless and good night!