Scientist Claims That There Are No Intelligent Aliens And Humans Are As Good As It Gets

(DailyMail)--The research draws on the Fermi paradox, which asks why scientists are predicting so many extraterrestrial civilisations, but as yet are still to find evidence for them. 

'It took approximately 4.5 billion years for a series of evolutionary transitions resulting in intelligent life to unfold on Earth,' the experts, from Oxford University's Future of Humanity Institute, say in their paper. 

'In another billion years, the increasing luminosity of the Sun will make Earth uninhabitable for complex life. 

'Together with the dispersed timing of key evolutionary transitions and plausible priors, one can conclude that the expected transition times likely exceed the lifetime of Earth, perhaps by many orders of magnitude. 

'In turn, this suggests that intelligent life is likely to be exceptionally rare.'

Let me be the first to say FUCK. THIS. SCIENTIST.

Buddy, this is how people start to be "science deniers". This has been a HUGE couple years for aliens and intelligent life. We've got radio signals, we've unexplained metal statues in Utah, we've got Bob Lazar, we've got Navy Pilots and video footage tracking those tic tak UFOs zipping around San Diego. We are basically one Trump twitter tantrum away from the President just going "fuck it, aliens are real. Enjoy Biden, bye" from having extra terrestrials confirmed. That is how we are meant to end 2020. Then we have this British ASSHOLE raining on everyone's parade talking about the Fermi paradox or whatever. Fuck off, man. Not right now. Keep those thoughts to yourself. You know why...because the idea that human beings are the greatest and smartest thing ever to exist the ENTIRETY of the Universe is soooooo depressing. Have you met humans? We fucking STINK. We have a few geniuses every generation that push us forward as a species, but for the most part we are dumb hairless apes that can barely keep our bag of milk dough bodies alive. I don't want to live in a Universe where humans are the smartest being. It's hopeful to think of another better, smarter, older civilization in a far off galaxy out there because we have either a) something to aspire to or b) something out there that can come down and save us from our dumbass selves. Don't take that idea away from me. Even if it's true that we are "alone" and aliens don't exist I don't want to hear it. We need to treat aliens like Elf On The Shelf. Some greater being watching our every move who will reward us if we are good or come down here and fuck us up if we are bad. Almost like...God. Tell all the atheists that Aliens are the Elf on the shelf and then let the god people do their shit and then maybe we'd all get along better. Taking Aliens away is taking away our hope and we need hope right now so this guy can get out of my face with his "evolutionarily rare" take. Shut up, nerd.