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The Only Two Things Baker Mayfield Hates More Than Missing Wide Open Throws Is "Lying and Skim Milk"

***Before we begin, let me concur with Baker Mayfield that skim milk does in fact suck. If we're talking Milk Rankings, we're going Chocolate, 2%, with Hershey's syrup, Whole, with Nesquick / Ovaltine powder, 1%, Strawberry, Almond, and then Skim*** 

Anyways, onto the blog:

He practiced that. That's a fact. Baker Mayfield 100% rehearsed that saying. Whether he studied it in the mirror when he woke up yesterday morning or if he memorized it on the bus ride into the stadium, that rolled off the tongue wayyyyy too automatically. All the way down to the  "uhhh". Baker Mayfield has proven about five weeks in a row now, after quoting everyone from DMX to Snoop Dogg to Ricky Bobby to Lil Wayne, that he's more concerned about being quirky and corny in the postgame presser than being accurate with his passing. Disagree? Open your eyes!

My dude was wide open for legitimately 7 straight seconds. Baker didn't need to time it right. He didn't need to squeeze it into a window. He literally could've underhand Granny-style tossed it into Rashard Higgins vicinity and he would've had time to get underneath it, clap ten times like he was playing popcorn in Four Square, and then catch it. And this wasn't even his worst throw of the game.

But listen, I want to be very clear. I am having fun. We were a 1-15 team a couple years ago, and then we became an 0-16 team. I am fully well aware that we are 8-3 and I don't NEED to be a Debbie Downer about our quarterback, but let's also be VERY CLEAR that he's playing bad. Give me all the stats you want, I don't care. The fact of the matter is that if you watch the game with your eye balls, he is objectively playing bad. He couldn't throw the ball into the ocean right now if he were standing on a boat. And he knows it too:

Wait, what was that? A sign of……being HUMBLE? Bake, that's all we need man. A little less manufactured postgame press conferences and a little more hitting open receivers every once in a while. Either that or stop acting like we are the cream of the crop when we're beating middle school teams.

We just beat the 1-11 Jaguars by 2 points. Let's call a spade a spade here: we're beating terrible teams because of our run game, not because of anything to do with the pass game. We're leading the NFL in rushing, and we're 30th in passing. Excuse makers will call him a "game manager", but anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that our quarterback play has been subpar. It's been terrible. Like skim milk.