BREAKING: Pfizer Says It Has A COVID-19 Vaccine That May Prevent Over 90% Of Infections

AP- Pfizer says an early peek at its vaccine data suggests the shots may be 90% effective at preventing COVID-19, indicating the company is on track later this month to file an emergency use application with U.S. regulators. Monday’s announcement doesn’t mean a vaccine is imminent: This interim analysis, from an independent data monitoring board, looked at 94 infections recorded so far in a study that has enrolled nearly 44,000 people in the U.S. and five other countries.

Pfizer Inc. did not provide any more details about those cases, and cautioned the initial protection rate might change by the time the study ends. Even revealing such early data is highly unusual. “We’re in a position potentially to be able to offer some hope,” Dr. Bill Gruber, Pfizer’s senior vice president of clinical development, told The Associated Press. “We’re very encouraged.” Authorities have stressed it’s unlikely any vaccine will arrive much before the end of the year, and limited initial supplies will be rationed.

I know Pfizer has been a titan in the medical industry for a while now, but I've always associated their name with being the company that started Viagra. And even though I've never taken that little blue miracle drug, at least not yet, I'll be damned if Pfizer didn't give me a full-blown diamond-cutting erection by simply reading that article. Okay, that phrase has no place being typed or read early on a Monday morning. I apologize.

I understand that coming up with a vaccine for any virus, let alone one that has caused a worldwide pandemic comes, with a shitload of challenges that requires patience to make sure everything works correctly. But I am chalking this news up as at the very least a moral victory for mankind since 90% is usually where I get excited about things, whether it's a vaccine success rate or the download bar of my PS4 update. That's a better percentage than the 4 out of 5 dentists that recommend your toothpaste brand!

Now I'm not saying we should all go around sucking each others dicks with Victory Monday shirts on our anything (Release the Giants Victory Monday shirt, Steven Cheah!). 

But we can at least get excited that Pfizer is making some serious headway, even though this quote gave me some pause.

Participants were tested only if they developed symptoms, leaving unanswered whether vaccinated people could get infected but show no symptoms and unknowingly spread the virus.

I mean the biggest motherfucker about Big Rona is that he's a G that moves in asymptomatic silence like lasagna, which means this 90% effective claim could be a lot less. But I hope I'm sure the nerds that are handling this shit are accounting for all that instead of gaming the system to get the green light so we have an effective, safe vaccine that doesn't turn everybody into zombies.

I'm not sure what Davey Daytrader's portfolio is looking like these days, but hopefully he will be swinging his big green hammer around today now that Christmas Bonus SZN is around the corner. #GoPfizerGo