Oh what's that, you have a Weber Kettle? Might as well get yourself an Easy-Bake Oven, ya pussy.
You want to cook like a man? Start up your own construction company, pick up a few Case excavators, throw it over an open fire and get to cookin' like your grandpappy and his grandpappy before him used cook. And the rustier the bucket, the better. It's like seasoning a cast iron skillet. You want to keep as much flavor on that bad boy as possible. Nothing sears up a steak quite like the remnants of a demolition site.
Now if anybody has a spare front loader they'd like to lend out, I have a new Meat Sweats video to film.