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The NCAA Once Again Keeps America Safe - Strips UMass Tennis Of An A-10 Title And 3 Years Of Wins For Reimbursing A Player $252 For A Phone Jack

[Source] - For the sake of $252, three years of UMass women’s tennis victories were vacated. For the decision to self-report a one-time, minor clerical error, the program has been forced to vacate that title. Poof — gone.

For reimbursing two players, one of them Collens, for an off-campus phone jack neither Collens nor her roommate even knew they had, the team was unfairly tainted as cheaters by the NCAA, painted with the same broad brush as recruiters who hand out bags of cash or athletes who pump themselves with performance enhancers.

2020 is a scary place man. Coronavirus, election year, phone jacks and $252 reimbursements. That's why I know I can put my head down to sleep at night and fall to sleep easily knowing the NCAA is here to keep America safe. How can anyone rest easily knowing there may be a $252 reimbursement out there for a college athlete? Think of all the phone jacks in the world. That's why the NCAA is here. 

Just kidding, fuck them. They saw this and immediately this was playing in Mark Emmert's office

I've said it before, but I have to give the NCAA credit. Nobody and I mean nobody knows how to be the super villain like them. They'll sit here and preach about all the good they are doing. How they care about student-athletes! How all they want is for student-athletes to succeed. They also say this as Mark Emmert rolls around in cash like the scene in Breaking Bad. They aren't even fighting it anymore. They are just flat out embracing it. Stripping UMass of an A-10 title AND three years of victories over $252 is flat out hilarious. Stripping titles is such a dumb thing to do but the NCAA LIVES for it. 

Don't sit here and applaud the NCAA. They don't need it. Mark Emmert will tell you they are just doing their job and moving along. They'll look for the next program to reimburse a student for upping their Internet speed. They'll keep an eye out for the player that has one too many TV channels. They'll send spies in to make sure a player isn't sharing a Netflix account with a coach. They will gloss over UNC taking fake classes because everyone gets to take a fake class there. Not all heroes wear capes. 

PS: I love that the tennis player had no idea they had a phone jack. Uh, yeah it's 2020. Who the fuck has a phone jack anymore?