How about that baseball-centric headline? Portnoy doesn't shell out the big bucks for nothing!
Hand up, I missed most of this game and all the fireworks last night because I am an Old that falls asleep in the 9:00 hour more times than he'd care to admit. I also was asleep when the internet exploding because a fly landed on Mike Pence's hair. So it's been a rough morning of catching up on all the memes in the Casa de Clem.
Anyway, I need to know what we thought of Brusdar Graterol going bananas after that huuuuuge catch. JK, I imagine the only people who hated this were Padres fans and the fossilized baseball writers who somehow have Hall of Fame votes. I loved it everything about that shit just like I loved Fernando Tatis Jr. swinging on a 3-0 count with the bases loaded against the Rangers late in a blowout and Manny Machado evolving the bat flip into the bat toss after his bomb last night.
I apologize if this violates an unwritten rules that I didn't read because they are, well, unwritten. But glove flipping after a game-saving catch and pointing at an imaginary crowd like you just won the World Series is the exact baseball equivalent to bat flipping your lumber to another zip code and screaming at your awesomely cocky teammates in the dugout. I'll even allow the blowing of kisses to a guy yelling "Fuck you" at you since the best way to piss off an angry person even more is to answer with love. Shit, if we weren't in the middle of a global pandemic, I would've loved to see Brusdar Graterol plant a forced kiss right in Machado's face like Bugs Bunny used to do to piss off his rivals, no matter how weird it would've been.
You don't want a guy bat flipping, glove flipping, or blowing you smooches? Beat him. And once you beat him, make sure to dance on his grave.
God I love how much the final 8 teams that are still playing hate each other. If Major League Baseball isn't careful, they may just have enough awesome shit talking moments that could actually cause the sport to grow on social media and appeal to a younger fanbase. I'm sure Rob Manfred is working overtime to stop all this tomfoolery posthaste! (I guarantee Rob Manfred says all those words when discussing this stuff).