Silly Football: NFL week 2
Its week 2 and more time than ever to get silly
don’t read this if your not in a silly mood: u will not like it.
Thursday 8:20pm
Browns vs Bengals
A lot of B's involved in this game, Browns, Bengals, Baker, Burrow, Big ballers. I think this game solidifies Baker's hot stock and commercial deals. If he wins he maintains the bad boy baker of the NFL who is charismatic and cool but if he loses Joe Burrow gets that crown. IF Burrow does something super cool and wins this game he becomes the new Bad Boy young gun. This one is the Big Battle for cool.
Sunday 1pm
Giants Vs Bears
Bears Bearly got out of last Sunday with a win with the biggest drop by a Swift since Red (2012). It was the world vs the Giants last weekend as everyone was looking for a happy ending to Bigger than Ben, which they got in dramatic fashion as the guy kept us all at the edge of our seats with his dramatic displays of pain. I feel like this is going to be a good game because we are going to see two teams I think of the same skill level duke it out to see who has the worse front office.
Buffalo Vs Miami
Really hoping Josh Allen has a big enough game to shut down Fitzmagic and end up with enough momentum to Digg the Patriots grave and win the AFC east. Buffalo Secondary has been awesome.
Denver Vs Pittsburgh
Drew Lock is a guy I root for because hes not disappointing anyone, he's just beating everyone's expectations, Lets see if he can stop Big Bens revenge tour. This game is being played at Heinz field and that got me thinking, does Big Ben get free Heinz products? like does he have a whole closet in his house with a ton of ketchup, mustard, relish, horseradish, Beans, like all 57 varieties? Like all his friends go to his house for Barbeques etc, because he just has all the stuff. Just something to think about.
Jacksonville vs Tenessee
I have a take on Gostkowski, I think it doesn't matter about making kicks when it comes to kicking, I want a kicker who wins games- Think about it, I rather have a guy who wins games then gets stats as a kicker. It would be easier to hit those 4 kicks in a row then miss them and then make the game-winner? You feel me? So if anything his performance on Monday night was legitimately more impressive than if he just hit those kicks. Did they win the game? Anyway, Gardner Minshew is going to have to bring some jack daniels magic to pull this out as the underdogs. Titans haven't lost to Jags in a long time and Derrick Henry had 160 yards last time they played.
Atlanta Vs Dallas
2 talented teams coming off losses, this game is going to bee huge down the stretch because 0-2 is a lot different than 1-1. Think of the numerology. 1-1 has the optimism of 2-1 where 0-2 only has the optimism of 1-2 which can easily become 1-3 with the only upside of 2-2 which has the only upside of 3-2 which is nowhere near as satisfying at 2-1. Which brings me to my greatest point- IS Ezekiel Elliot's "Feed Me" Tattoo cursed?
Detroit Vs Green Bay
Aaron Rodgers is hot right now. He has fully embraced in my opinion the bad guy persona- he would wear a Black hat in a western movie and try to steal the grazing rights in the tri-county area so the cowboys couldn't bring their herds there. But in this same thought process, Stafford could be the good guy cowboy who defeats him? Let me workshop this one more.
Minnesota Vs Indianapolis
Remember Cousins did quote some Darwin survival of the fittest earlier this season? Yeah well, the only part that Rivers had a problem with is that it implies Evolution is real.
San Francisco Vs Jets
If Garropolo can't pull this one out the 9ers need to trade for Nick Foles and win a Superbowl already.
Rams Vs Eagles
The Washington football team Dline showed that the Eagle's Oline was taken it easy if you pick up what in throwing down like Aaron Donald is going to be doing to Wentz this Sunday.
Panthers Vs Tampa Bay
This is probably the most important game of Tom Brady's career because if they lose he is a system Qb and last Sunday was not growing pains.
Sunday 4:05pm
Washington Vs Arizona
Chase Young is legit gonna eat Kyler Murray like a goddamn snack. Hopkins still gonna get 200 yards though somehow. Rooting for Haskins because I pray Alex Smith doesn't get put on the field.
Sunday 4:25pm
Baltimore Vs Houston
This is Baltimore vs Offbrand Baltimore- Houston thinks and wishes they were Baltimore. Mobile Qb with a dynamic offense only difference is while Jackson runs for TDs- Watson runs for his life.
Kansas City Vs Chargers
Mahomes 400 total yards.
Sunday 8:20pm
New England Vs Seattle
I am getting nervous about Mr. Unlimited because he is "Cooking" like legitimately I think his cringeworthy trying to be cool and edgy is giving him more and more power. I think if he beats the Pats and goes "that's a "WAP" weak ass patriots get it?" He is going to win a Superbowl. Cam Newton is going to get beat up by the Seattle defense like legit he's going to try to fight them and its going to happen.
Monday 8:15pm
Saints vs Vegas
What if Taysom Hill loses his mind in Vegas and just gets so wrapped up in sin city he doesn't make the game. Then the whole country goes on a "Wheres Taysom?" and special agent Donnie Does is sent deep into Las Vegas Mole people tunnels and finds him. Would be cool. But probs wont happen- Gruden and Derek Carr hate each other and Carr actively trolls gruden's wife thus Jameis Winston will be tasked with writing down all of Carr's inappropriate audibles on his tablet and texting them to Gruden throughout the game to ensure a Saints win due to infighting.
Anyway remember its Silly football and if you take it too seriously then you need to get the makeup wipes out and start taking off the facepaint and get some smaller shoes.