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How Much Would Someone Have To Pay You To Eat A Right Cross From Iron Mike?

Pat blogged this a few minutes ago because he's a goddamn cypher for the clickbait blogs and I'm always a day late, dollar short in that realm. You can read his fully unabridged blog here:

I had just about the exact same idea for the blog, and was going to include his interview a week or so back on Rogan as well, which you can find in the blog above or with a simple Google search. But it gots me to thinkin': how much money would someone have to pay you to eat a right cross from Mike Tyson?

I mean look at this monster...

Dude's 54 years old and still has INSANE body control and INSANE coordination, not to mention his explosive qualities as an athlete would make Lebron James blush. Dude's a freak of nature to this day and I can't wait to say I'm gonna buy his fight vs. Roy Jones Jr. and then totally not buy it but watch the clips on Twitter. Just a maniac through and through.

And I'm not talking about 54 year old Iron Mike. I'm talking about in his prime, meanest and scariest dude on the planet Iron Mike: 

How much would someone have to pay YOU, tax free, to swallow one of his punches whole? I was thinking about this because Carl did a podcast and was asked if he'd give a guy a hummer for $100K: 

I'd take a 5 roper to my eye socket for $100K... I Think. But I'm not totally sure I'd take a cross from Tyson to my eye socket for that same number, especially if we're talking late 80s, early 90s Tyson. That's a goddamn death sentence and as pathetic as my life is, I'm pretty sure I'd opt to live instead of opt to die. Doesn't even matter that I have a thick ass fucking skull that'd make Homer Simpson proud:

Giphy Images.

He'd turn my face into a catcher's mitt. Simple as that, and $100K basically covers my student loans, final car payments and leaves me with like 25 grand to blow on Wells Street over the course of football season. But I am a whore for money because I've never had it and want to know what it's like living a flush lifestyle, so after careful deliberation while I blog this in my underwear on my couch, I'd set the number at a cool $200K. That'd knock off every ounce of student debt, be a downpayment on a sweet condo somewhere on the Lake and then leave me some fun money that I could piss through for the next 3-4 months. L-I-V-I-N. 

$200K final offer