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Jon Hamm's Penis Takes Its First Ever L — Judge Rules No Copyright Laws Broken For Publishing Shot Of His Monster Hog

NYP —A news site didn’t break copyright laws when it published a paparazzi shot it did not own showing actor Jon Hamm‘s pants bulge, a judge ruled Thursday — because of all the fuss surrounding the “Mad Men” star’s member.

HuffPost used the viral image showing Hamm strolling down the street on two legs — with an apparent third testing the tensile strength of his trousers — alongside an article headlined “25 things you wish you hadn’t learned in 2013 and must forget in 2014.”

Finally, some closure on a story we've been pursuing since the day it hit the wire (considering the subject matter that should come as no surprise to fans of the site). 

That famous paparazzi shot of Jon Hamm….the one where you could see, as the New York Post eloquently called it, "an apparent third leg testing the tensile strength of his trousers"…posted by HuffPost in their "25 things you wish you hadn't learned in 2013 and must forget in 2014" article, apparently to help people forget about it… NO laws broken. NO jail time or fines. A massive W for scummy paparazzi and Huff Po writers everywhere, and an L almost as big as his hog for Jon Hamm.  

No, for men everywhere. The judge might as well shout it from a bullhorn: go ahead and objectify men, everyone. They don't have feelings. They don't deserve respect. They are just objects to be gawked at. Objects towards whom it is perfectly fine to eye-molest them as they take a casual walk on their day off. Great. Just fantastic. Looks like we will just have to continue with the doubled-up pairs of compression shorts and a gentle tie-around-the-leg to keep these perverts and creepy gawkers from seeing our totally big and huge dicks that we definitely have. At least I know I will be. How else will I keep disgusting hornballs like Cosmo from starting photo galleries dedicated to my hammer?


The lawsuit failed because the judge said there is legal precedent for using a licensed image to "illustrate what the fuss is all about." 

In his ruling, Manhattan federal Judge Ronnie Abrams said there’s legal precedent for news outlets using licensed images for stories that “illustrate what all the fuss is about.”

“Here too, the photograph was used to illustrate what all the fuss is about, namely Hamm’s ‘privates’ and the public’s fixation with them,” Abrams wrote.

The confidence boost a man must get, to have his dick referred to as "a fuss."