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How Bad Would A Fart Have To Smell For You To Attack Someone Else?

Seems about right for Florida. You'd be hard-pressed to find another place where so much bullshit goes down. That being said, I don't understand all the anger towards farts. Not too long ago, there was a guy riding in the back of a cab who found himself in a similar situation after he let it rip in the back. 


A Florida woman who fumed about her father’s farts has been arrested for allegedly battering him because of his relentless flatulence in their shared home, according to a report.

Listen, we've all been caught up in an unsavory fart. No one likes it per se, but that doesn't mean you won't have a second whiff. What I'm trying to say is that catching a fart direct to the nostrils isn't the worst thing. 

Also, it feels pretty harsh to get mad at someone you share a home with for… living. Might as well get mad at them for peeing and pooping too. Fuck it, why not sneak in a little side elbow just cause they were taking up space. This is just clear signs of a crazy person. Someone who thinks with no rationale and goes immediately to DEFCON 5. 

Nicole Dozois, 40, who lives with her 59-year-old dad in Largo, a city in the Tampa Bay area, raised a stink about his noxious emissions about 2 a.m. Sunday, The Smoking Gun reported.

She then allegedly punched him in the face “numerous times,” according to the outlet, which cited a police report.

Responding officers found the victim with “a bloodied left eye and scratches all over his neck as a result.”

Pretty unfair if you ask me. A stern - yet gentle - "excuse you" or maybe even an "I can't believe you've done this" would've been the appropriate action. Then again, this is Florida we're talking about so there might be an extreme lack of cooler heads that would otherwise prevail. Still, it feels like going from letting a few farts loose to getting Rock em' Sock em' robot-ed in your own home is a massive leap. 

Giphy Images.

Imagine? You're just casually watching TV with the family as you pull off the casual one cheek sneak then BAM you're [insert family member here] hits you with a straight right hand, you crumble to the ground. Now they've got top mount and it's curtains, Herb Dean has to step in. Honestly, I can't think of anything worse considering the situation. A measly little fart turned into such an ordeal. Who would've guessed? At 2 AM no less. Like go to bed lady and stop worrying about the poor guy's farts. Nope, instead, she turned into a game of punch out. Hopefully, she gets put away for a long time. We can't be having psychopaths like that walk around in society, just mauling people for a simple release of methane gas.

Now, this is complete speculation on my behalf but is it possible that the smell of this fart was so bad that the only appropriate response was violence? I'd never condone such a thing but is it possible? Doesn't feel like it. Even if someone literally took a dump in their pants, it doesn't feel like enough to beat the shit out of them as this lady did. 

This is clearly a lesson that I need to be even more self-conscious of my farts. Not only can I not fart in public over the fear of public shame, but now I can't even fart at home. In front of my own family. Laugh it up, but at least I won't find myself on the receiving end of a vicious combination due to my own flatulence.

PS - What are you supposed to do if you're the guy who farted here? You just kind of gotta eat it and pray it ends, right?