The Future Of Sports Has Arrived And It Is Just A Couple Of Shirtless Dudes Slapping The Everliving Shit Out Of Each Other

I don't know what this sport is, where it takes place, or how the hell you even play it. But I do know why it was created and that's because God loves us. Remember in the beginning of quarantine when everyone complained so much about sports being gone that it pretty much became a tired internet trope? Well if the people that ran whatever they call this Dry Dry Desert WWF mumbo jumbo, they'd be a multi billion dollar league by now because it would have quenched everyone's sports thirst, outside of the poor Indian Ric Flairs sucking in an alarming amount of dust.

This wonderful brand of combat checks all the boxes for great athletic theater (pronounced thee-Ay-ter to sound fancy).

Dramatic? CHECK!

Easy To Watch At Home? CHECK!

Has A Bunch Of Guys With Mustaches? CHECK!

Fun To Gamble On? CHECK! At least whenever we learn the rules!

Not to mention that it's relatable as fuck because while many sports fans never played a day of organized football in their lives, everyone that had a sibling near their age engaged in some sort of slap fighting sooner or later. 

Which actually has me thinking this may be the perfect sport for Stool Streams. If Hank doesn't have all of us idiots at Barstool participating in this shit on Stool Streams by the end of August, preferably with shirts on at least when I'm fighting, I honestly think Portnoy may fire him, even though yesterday's Jenga games where lowkey some of the most intense competition I have seen in my life.

UPDATE: This is apparently called Kabbadi and it's confirmed awesome even though I'm not entirely sure what I'm watching.