If I'm Rusty Bowers I'm Changing My Name To Rusty Boners ASAP


Obviously that sign is edited and not real in the slightest, but that's neither here nor there. Like, obviously that "N" in Boners is as real as the Edgartown Shark (shout out to OGs who get that reference). And oh yeah, it says "BowersforAZ.com" right on the sign. Maybe a dead giveaway that it's fake. And the kids screaming "BONERRRRR" the entire time. Ok sure, maybe everything about it looks clearly fake. But despite that, it got 500,000 views in an hour on our IG page.

So that is where things gets interesting- Rusty Bowers now HAS to change his name to Rusty Boners. He just has to. In politics, name recognition is everything. Everyone in Arizona is going to be scanning their ballots going "Boners, Boners...where the fuck is Boners????" This one viral video did more for Rusty Boners than a year of campaigning could ever do for Rusty Bowers. So he just needs to change his name ASAP. Run with it. Be Rusty Boners. Use every pun in the book. "Vote Boners, because my stance will never be soft". "Boners: I'll fight hard for you". It goes on and on. "Vote Boners, you'll feel good inside". Bowers though? No thank you. 

We all know by now politics is all a game. It's basically professional wrestling. And Bowers just lucked into a gimmick change. He is no longer Rusty Bowers, a man for safety and education. He is Rusty Boners, wacky 60s porn star, trying to make it big in politics. It's like when Mankind became Dude Love. 

So vote Rusty Boners 2020. Watch out Arizona, he's coming for that ass.