If You Are Looking For A Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut, The MTA Website Says To Go To The Waterbury Metro-North Train Station

People named Fred seeing that smut in their Google results:

dasani GIF Giphy Images.

Look, it's no secret that the coronavirus has thrown the railroad industry into a tizzy. It seemed like the Metro-North was raising prices every 6 months to stay above water back when people actually did things like "leave their house" and "commute to work". My buddy owns both Shore Line AND the Reading Railroad, where he has been taking a bath financially. So just like any other business trying to make ends meet during this tough time, I have no problem with the MTA getting a little bit NSFW in their SEO approach in order to get more people packed ass-to-ass in their station. 

Using Waterbury as your destination makes perfect sense too. You can't have people flooding heavy traffic stations like Stamford and Norwalk in search of this genital starved young lady. However, Waterbury is off the beaten path and a $40+ round trip ticket from Grand Central. 

Back when I worked for ESPN, I used to associate Waterbury as the stretch of highway between the Casa de Clem and Bristol that ALWAYS had traffic. It could be early in the morning, smack dab in the afternoon, or in the middle of the night. Once you saw Waterbury signs, you also saw brake lights. Now Waterbury will forever be the Home of the Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut. All the governor has to do is slap that shit on the Welcome To Waterbury sign and watch the tourism dollars pile up. Because if "normal" people like you and I will raise an eyebrow and click a blog over such a scandalous claim, quarantined hornies cooped up in New York City for months will spend almost $50 round trip and 3 hours on those lame red seat Metro-North trains without a second thought to see if the legend is true.

Name me another Barstool blogger who would seamlessly weave in a Requiem gif and a Field of Dreams gif in a clickbaity blog about a town in Connecticut. You can't. Okay, that sick fuck KFC probably would. But I think that's about it.