Guess That Ass

If you guessed 'Brandon Walker', close but no cigar. 

Zero other hunches due to the paleness & softness of body? Ok, fine, I'll tell you. 

It's mine. I know. I was shocked, too. 

In hindsight I had zero worries recording myself in the suit because I thought it'd look more like this:

But alass...

And wowzers was this a rude awakening. 

Not in the sense that I need to work out (I won't) but that any bathing suit bottom belonging to me needs camouflage patterns all over it & mom-jeans-style high-waisted height. This thing looks like someone lightly brushed baby-blue watercolor over my cheeks then swiped a fading Sharpie down the middle. 

Also those are shadows, not fart stuff or a dangler. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

Anyways, I used a timer to take those unfortunate, cursed snaps of myself at Peekamoose Blue Hole (more like Peek-a-Caboose Brown Hole, amiright? ha ha) up in NY's Catskill Mountains over the weekend. I went up there to try and clear my fuzzy head with some hiking & swimming hole hoppin' and wound up covered in hives and driving home around 3am feeling like a crazy person before having a Twitter meltdown. But other than that, highly recommend! (Really was still worth it 120%.)

In closing, I've been on the struggle-bus as of late regarding the blog & some other things and nature is a good reminder that, all the ugly stuff aside (like anonymous internet trolls, my front left tooth and/or a very weird ass), real life is a real beaut and there's still so much awe-inspiring, wonderful stuff to explore (like new trails, or outpatient lipo). If you're in a similar boat try to put the phone down & put your own buns in motion to spend some time in whatever bit of great outdoors you've got, even if it's only for a few minutes. (While also making sure to still have your phone nearby though, because if you don't document it for social media nothing matters.) 

This blog was brought to you by the fine folks over at: "These tweets & stuff are about 3 days old now so perhaps Kate needed a blog but she still means the feel-good stuff."