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This Dude's Brain Melts Out Of His Ears Trying To Figure Out Which Is The Salt Shaker And Which Is The Pepper Shaker

  

Since I saw this video this morning, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It's just lingered in my brain the last couple of hours and well shit, there's nothing else going on in the world, so I wanted to blog it because he is 100% correct on this. 100000% correct. The way this is worded, the shaker that says "To my pepper" is seemingly for both the salt and the pepper. Now, I get why they made the shakers like that, for idiots to buy thinking they are all cute. "Aw babe, look at these adorable salt and pepper shakers" your nagging girlfriend says to you during hour 3 at Bed Bath and Beyond. You don't say anything at the time because all you want to do is overpay for some new sheets and get home, but once you realize what she bought you've gotta take them out to the back patio and spike them Gronk style to teach her a grammar lesson. We don't need ambiguously labeled salt and pepper shakers messing up the feng shui of the house. 

There's only 2 salt and pepper shakers a man should have in his house:

1) 

 

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The ginormous thing of salt that seemingly will never run out. Yeah you could sprinkle it in your hand before seasoning, but where's the fun in that? Have a steady hand and you'll properly salt 1 out of every 10 items, guaranteed. 

 

Or 2)

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Classic. Bring a girl home and she sees these pigs fucking on your kitchen counter and she knows you're a keeper. I love how genuinely happy the pigs look too. And the fact somewhere an artist drew and designed these pig, full knowing (or not knowing?) they were going to be used as graphic salt and pepper shakers. The American dream.