The Skies Of LA Were Lit Up Like Disneyland With Illegal Fireworks Last Night

In case you were wondering if your neighborhood was the only place that sounded like George Washington and the boys were throwing a goddamn revolution outside, I am here to confirm that it was not the case because there were nonstop big boy fireworks going off in cities like LA as well as in the sticks of Winterfell near the Casa de Clem. Turns out if you lock Americans in their houses for 3+ months then cancel every local firework show in the country, some people are going to get some Macy's grade fireworks and take things into their own hands, literally in some cases since I imagine there were more than a few people lost in the sauce that had their own JPP incidents last night. If you showed me those videos and asked where they took place, I would've guessed Coruscant after The Empire was toppled in Return Of Jedi. Nope, just a few hundred amateur pyros being bad boys on the 4th.

On the bright side, treating victims with burn wounds and blown off digits was probably a nice change of pace for the healthcare workers that have spent months battling a pandemic that attacks the lungs. Kinda like flipping a pillow to the cool side while you sleep, like all the dog owners who didn't have to wake up for their early walk today because their pooches are passed out this morning since they didn't sleep a wink last night. Me? I don't have a dog and will always love watching a good explosion, so I remain #TeamFireworks for life. Or at least until they start waking up my kids in the middle of the night. Once that happens, I will flip sides like Anakin so quick, it'll make your head spin like a pinwheel.