Al Roker Crushing Life at a Drake Concert

How can I get Al Roker to adopt me? He has the second coolest cat in the entire arena killing it in the row behind him, and he’s making that kid look like a zilch. I need him to teach me everything about life. I want him to put me in his kangaroo pouch and show me the world Roker style. If there’s a fantasy draft for entourages, I am picking Roker with my first round pick, no brainer. Nobody does it bigger than him.

Does he drop acid on the Today Show? Check.

Does he shit wherever he wants? Check.

And hangs out with rock stars? Check fucking mate.


Find someone cooler than Roker, and I’ll pay you ever last cent in my piggy bank.