We've all been there. You're craving some Colonel's Original Recipe, so you hop in the carriage and head down to the local KFC. Unfortunately for Ian Bell, he was told he would not be able to enjoy any of the finger-lickin' good fried chicken due to his choice of transportation.
Metro — Ian Bell, 55, made it as far as the kiosk window last week only for a manager to come out and say he would have to leave for the health and safety of other customers.
He says he doesn’t understand, as his horse Jon Jon is as ‘good as gold’, adding: ‘Horse and carts were around long before motor cars.’
‘I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I’d done nothing wrong. Jon Jon was behaving himself, he was quiet as a lamb – he’s a very well-behaved horse.'
Man, what a racket. Can a man not grab a bucket of chicken on his horse anymore? A very well-behaved horse, no less! I would say, "I thought this was America," but this was not, in fact, in America. Luckily, Bell said he and Jon Jon took their business to McDonald's for a Big Mac and nobody cared he was riding around in the hottest whip of 1765.
This situation did, however, produce possibly my favorite statement ever from a corporate spokesperson. KFC issued a statement which read, "Hold your horses, Carlisle. We’re not looking to stirrup trouble and we’re sorry for Ian and Jon Jon’s experience – but the safety of our guests is really important, so we can’t allow horse-drawn vehicles in our drive-thrus.”
I imagine having to draft a statement regarding why you refuse to allow horses at a restaurant was a new one, even for the KFC public relations department. But nonetheless, I wish Ian and Jon-Jon nothing but the best in their future fast food endeavors and hope maybe one day, we can overcome the stigma of transportation methods outdated by several centuries.