What Are Your Top 5 Drinking Games?

I feel like tweets like this have gotten a ton of play during quarantine since there has been no sports to #embracedebate about. But I took the bait and decided to blog about it because what the fuck else is there to talk about while the world is in pseudo lockdown. Plus my washed up ass doesn't feel nearly as washed up without seeing a bunch of people with actual lives drinking and partying.

To be clear, there are likely a ton of games I've never heard of considering I don't know what the fuck Brent Musberger and Thunderstruck is outside of a great announcer and a great song that we should pay homage to before diving into the blog.

Onto my rankings.

1. Kings

Primary Color Club GIF by RetroCollage Giphy Images.

Kings is, for lack of a better term, the king of drinking games. Easy to play, gets everyone drinking, and even the inevitable rule changes between houses are not only easy to learn but can sometimes make the game better. I personally played 2-9 in red was give out that many seconds while 2-9 in black were drink that many seconds, which always led to fun rivalries being born. But there were also places that had rules for all those cards as well. I'm personally for Categories, Waterfalls, and making up rules. The only part of Kings I didn't love was Queens being Questions, which requires wayyyyy too much brain power for a casual drinking game in my humble opinion.

2. Flip Cup

flip cup start them young GIF Giphy Images.

I feel like Flip Cup is the people's choice for drinking games. Everyone can play, the drinks go down like water, and legitimate friendships can instantly form over a folding table with flipping Solo Cups. The only way you don't like Flip Cup is if you stink at it. 

Now I know what you're saying. "Clem, you ignorant slut. How can you have a game as great as Flip Cup at number 2?". The answer is quite simple my feathered friend. Flip Cup is actually TOO good of a game. Due to the fun yet competitive nature of Flip Cup, everyone loses their minds during a close game and after a big win. If you are playing at a place where there is a chance someone can call the cops/security for a noise violation, it's going to happen during Flip Cup. In fact, I'd say Flip Cup has resulted in more security calls than any other drinking game ever.

Flip Cup also has an incredible offshoot in Survivor Flip Cup that has all the drama and politics of a reality show like Survivor in drinking game form. 

3. Power Hour

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I feel like Power Hour is one of those drinking games that are in a gray area between drinking game and just something you do during a pregame. But every time I've done a power hour, it's started with someone saying "You want to play Power Hour". So it gets the drinking game connotation because of that. If you have a problem with this, please tweet @UncleChaps and let him know.

The two biggest problems with Power Hour is that it inevitably leads to people having to piss around the 30 minute mark and the constant movement along with the constant alcohol and talking leads to people forgetting what powers the hour, namely booze. That in turn leads to some people forgetting to drink usually somewhere after the 30 minute mark, which defeats the whole purpose of the game. Then again, I guess everyone having fun is the whole point of the game. 

I also have an incredible 90s-2000s hip hop Power Hour that I made during a 24 hour car ride to Florida that took in the best 60 seconds of 60 of the best songs that were out during that time. I'm not sure if it will be harder to find that CD, find a CD player, or figure out how to rip said CD in said CD player. But I need to upload it to the internet because future generations need to hear it because it may be the greatest piece of work my dumb brain has ever put together.

4. Beer Pong

big cat neighbors GIF by Barstool Sports Giphy Images.

I stumbled upon this gif and laughed because I forgot all about Big Cat playing beer pong with Dave Franco and McLovin which happened no less than 3 lifetimes ago

Out of all drinking games, none commands the amount of respect or has as much street cred attached to it for being good as beer pong. You know why? Because it takes skill to be good at beer pong. Look at this completely random video I found of someone closing out a game like Jordan in the 4th.

However, beer pong is not a perfect game. Only four people can play at a time, which takes out the community aspect of it. If you are one of the players, you are basically non-existent to everyone else and can miss an entire party if you run the table. Dunking a ping pong ball that just rolled on a filthy floor in an even filthier cup of old water is gross (If you don't think so now, trust me you will when you are an Old like me). And according to the Elias Sports Bureau, more holes have been put into the walls of college dorms/townhouses/Frat houses than all other drinking games combined.

I am not going to delve into the differences between beer pong vs. beirut because I didn't care when I was young and I sure as shit don't care now.

5. Quarters

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Honestly, this last spot could have gone to a few different games since I really only played the first four before I traded any semblance of a social life for kids. Up The River, Baseball, Fuck The Dealer, and a bunch of other games. But there is something nice about throwing a quarter and shot glass into the mix that gets the blood pumping. I'm sure there are 100 games that I've never played that could take this spot, most notably Beer Die which seems awesome even though I have no goddamn idea how to play it. Same goes for Chardee MacDennis.

Dead Last. Asshole

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Oh, a drinking game that people take super serious, involves changing seats, has rules that greatly vary depending on where you are, and can have people get drunk with power yelling at people to drink? I'll pass. I've played Asshole for maybe two hands in my life because it is the opposite of everything I look for in a drinking game.

Anyway, that's my Top 5. What are yours?