Wake Up With Danny Almonte

As is the case most mornings, today I woke up thinking about what would have happened had I stopped growing when I was like 13 years old. If I could have just scratched and clawed my way to 6' tall, I would have been both an all pro LB in the NFL and hit in the meat of a contender's lineup simultaneously. Think Bo Jackson, but way better. Unfortunately for me I have dog shit genetics and only got to 5'9.5". 

But that doesn't mean I can't sit here and show off to internet commenters about how good at sports I was when I was a fully grown 12ish year old. Just bomb after bomb on the diamond and scoring every single time I touched the ball on the gridiron. It was biblical. But as awesome as I am for all of that, I never fully got to prove myself on a national stage. It is one of the world's great injustices that I never got a chance to hit off Danny Almonte back in 2001. I was 12, he was 14 and both at the height of our games. It'd be like watching prime Trout vs. prime Pedro except the fences would be 200 feet in the power alleys. 

Talk about appointment television. The world was depraved of that matchup. I know what you're thinking too: "WSD, why can't you just face him now?" to which I'd say "fuck you. Neither of us are in our prime so it'd be pointless". 

It really is a goddamn shame the world was deprived of this matchup. Makes me sick just thinking about it