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Tom Brady's Stretched-Out Escalade Might've Been Built by SpaceX and Can Be Yours for the Low, Low Price of $300K

Becker Automotive Design - Own a piece of the Brady legacy!

Tom Brady’s take

“Parting ways with my Becker ESV won’t be easy. From day one it became my sanctuary from the outside noise. I took pride in picking out all the customizations of the ESV; from the trim of the seats to the color of the rug. With such limited time in my busy schedule the ESV gave me those extra minutes to study my play book, make phone calls and be with my family. Immediately my productivity went up and my stress came down. I hope the next owner will take great care of her; she will always be a part of the Brady family.”

This is a collector’s car!

20" stretched Becker Cadillac Escalade ESV Mobile Office. 10" lengthened rear doors for ease of entry and exit while providing a more proportional and normal exterior appearance. ... Includes two 6-way electric reclining VIP seats with electric leg rests built into the rear floor. Electronics include a 32" HD LCD screen and a rear 12" screen. Savant controlled A/V system. Two large aviation style folding tables hand veneered in a burl wood finish. A high end mobile internet router that allows for multiple service providers, ensuring the very best connectivity on the road. ...

Only 13,000 Miles. Asking $300,000 OBO

Were I a cynical man, I might point out that Tom Brady and Gisele are big climate change people who were once recommending that everybody shut all the lights off in their houses on Earth Day, and this Escalade has a carbon footprint roughly equivalent to my home town. But I won't say that. Because I am a free market guy who believes kings should have kingly things. As Brad Wesley put it in the greatest film ever made about a bouncer with a degree in Philosophy who saves a town, "I believe we all have a purpose on this earth. A destiny. I have a faith in that destiny. It tells me to gather unto me what is mine." 

When you win six Super Bowls, maybe then you will deserve a 20 foot luxury SUV with 10-inch lengthened rear doors for ease of entry and exit while providing a more proportional and normal exterior appearance. Which is key. Maybe you'll have earned the right to relax in the luxury of two 6-way electric reclining VIP seats built into the rear floor. Or a 32-inch HD LCD and another 12-inch screen connected to a Savant A/V system. Until you win that sixth one, you're not worthy of an aviation style folding table of any kind, much less hand veneered in a burl wood finish. My Ford Focus has a Bluetooth that connects to my phone when it feels like it. But I accept that because I'm six rings shy of a high end mobile internet router which ensures the best connectivity on the road. 

Like I said in the headline, this thing might have been built by SpaceX because I was watching the pre-launch coverage and this is way more impressive than the Crew Dragon Bob and Doug almost went up in. (Note: I LOL every time they refer to them as Bob and Doug.) Musk better go to Brady's car stretcher guy if he's going to expect anyone to travel to Mars in that bucket. 

Anyway, the bottom line is that when you are one half of the most celebrated couple in the human race, you can't be seen slumming about in a 20-foot Cadillac ESV with 13,000 miles on it. Then it's time to upgrade. Let some lesser being tool around in this lemon. It's beneath the dignity of the GOAT. And I cannot wait to see how he tricks out the next one. 

P.S. If Dave doesn't buy this thing the disappointment may crush me.