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Naked Man Breaks Into Empty School And Goes on 22 HOUR Destruction Spree, Causing Over $100,000 In Damages

Ah Florida.... of course.

Before we get too far into this, I just wanted to say that trashing an entire building - such as a school - has always seemed like a blast. I'm talking it's no one but you as you just go classroom to classroom breaking shit. Half my time in school was spent accidentally breaking shit anyways so what's really the difference. Then again, I'm far too afraid of the ramifications that come with busting up a school for no reason.


A naked man broke into a locked Florida high school apparently to trash the building, causing $100,000 worth of damages during a 22-hour vandalism spree, police said.

This guy, however, is apparently very accepting of those consequences*. In fact, he pretty much invited everyone to come to stop him. I mean, he was just in there for 22 hours wreaking absolute havoc on the halls of this school. It makes you wonder if this guy slept at all during this period. Surely not, right? Like there's no way this lunatic would schedule it out so that he'd destroy the library computers at 12 pm but then it's nap time in the nurse's office by 1 am. It must've just a mess of him frantically running around, looking for shit to destroy. 

*suspect has not yet been captured at the time of this blog

Also, why did he have to be naked? Couldn't have just put on a pair of sweat pants or something? I feel like if anything, being naked makes you easier to find. Sure, it makes you far more aerodynamic and efficient with your movements but at what cost? They get a look at literally your entire body. There isn't another human being with that exact body on the fucking planet, so it can't be too hard to catch the perpetrator.

The mayhem began inside Miramar High School just before 8 a.m. on Memorial Day, when the man busted in, and spent “an entire day” wreaking havoc, police said.

Surveillance footage from inside the public school, which is closed due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, showed the man still at the building on 6 a.m. Tuesday, police told the Miami Herald.

The suspect, who appears to be wearing headphones in a photo released by police, broke computers inside the school, put graffiti on walls and flooded sections of the building, police said.

The damages were estimated at $100,000, school officials said.

At first, I was pretty curious as to how $100,000 worth of damage was done to a school. Schools just don't seem like they have that much valuable stuff to break. A couple of gizmos and gadgets, sure, but nothing that could total that much money. I guess that adds up quickly when your just breaking computers, projectors, and all the other little bullshit that makes a school work. 

Not to mention the fact that he was just flooding certain parts of the building. This fucker was definitely up to typical school-aged antics and just put wet paper towels in the sink to clog them. Nothing used to cause an uproar in school like a couple of wet paper towels starting a flood in the bathroom and there's no doubt in my mind that this is what he did. Another classic move was to find poop in the urinal but I'm doubtful that he pulled that one-off.

I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned, but there's just something about breaking into a school and destroying everything that seems a tad unnecessary. I know that I said at the beginning of this blog that trashing a school seems like a dream but that's exactly what it is, a dream. Only a true psycho would just break into a school and just unleash hellfire upon it - in the middle of a global pandemic, no less.