After Yesterday's Big Reveal, I Will Never Give Up On Finding Love


I have no problem being vulnerable on this here website. Shit, I've been blogging here for over 7 years now, my life is pretty much an open book. Same with on Twitter. But I've never really talked about romantic interests at all. They've come and gone during these 7+ years, but I've kept it quiet. If you follow me on Twitter you can probably tell when I'm seeing someone or not based on if I'm re-watching 500 Days of Summer at the time.

But my point is, I don't know why guys have such a hard time admitting a universal fact- we don't want to be alone. We all want companionship. Someone to depend on and who depends on us. I don't think that's an outrageous thing to say, but there are people who will think I'm a virgin pussy for typing that, but whatever. 

Sometimes I get down on myself. "Will I ever find love?", I wonder. But yesterday, my life changed. Yesterday love sprang eternal. I realized we're all going to find love one day. Why, do you ask? What happened? This guy happened:



My king!!!!!

This guy got a girl to turn down $500,000+ yearly salary and a lifelong career! All she had to do was 1, 45 minute episode podcast a week telling made up fairy tales about his dick, and she said no! What a fucking king. If Kmarko's block-headed cousin can bring down the Call Her Daddy empire, then I'm sure I can find a girl who can tolerate me as well. I'm walking on sunshine, whoaaaaaaa.

I mean this girl made more in a year than I'll ever make. And she let this dude bring that to a screeching halt?



I gotta start a sex podcast ASAP.



And in case you need one more example of believing in yourself, this is another great one:


On the left, international superstar, mega-celebrity, one of the most famous people in the world, Taylor Swift. On the right...the guy who wrote the lyric "I get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs", Adam Young aka Owl City. Now, I'm not hating on him. But she wrote my favorite song of her's, "Enchanted" ABOUT HIM!!!! It's the most romantic song ever.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up
Two a.m., who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door

And she wrote that about Owl City. Damn. If that doesn't give you hope, nothing does.


So stay strong, my friends. Quarantine is lonely and boring and is like a paused year when it comes to meeting someone. But we'll do it. Remain positive. And if you're ever feeling down, remember if that guy can bring down CHD, you can get a girl to text you back.