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Must See Video: This Guy Who Jumped on a Moving Wine Truck in His Underwear and Started Guzzling is All of Us

Source - It is a wine heist like you’ve never seen before.

The Modesto CHP arrested Gabriel Moreno after he allegedly jumped on a moving tanker truck carrying bulk red wine, climbed under its belly to unscrew a valve, and drank the wine as the truck traveled up Highway 99.

Video of the wild ride was recorded on the Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck Moreno allegedly targeted.

The dashcam video first shows Moreno in a sedan, putting his hazard lights on, directing the truck to the side of the highway.

The truck driver pulls over, believing he may have a mechanical problem, only to see Moreno get out with only his underwear on. ...

With no shirt and no shoes, he rides on the side of the tanker. The video then shows him climb underneath the truck as it hits freeway speeds. ...

The trucking company says they lost about 1,000 gallons of red wine, most of it ending up on Highway 99. That is enough to fill about 5000 bottles of red wine.

Gabriel Moreno, I am not going to go right to the obviously cliche of our times and say that not all heroes wear capes. Or shirts. Shoes. Or pants. I can't sit here and excuse your ritual sacrifice of 1,000 gallons  of vital, quarantine-enhancing wine at a time of national emergency like this. Not when homeschooling parents across the land are teaching 3rd grade math lessons based "How many glasses mom can pour before she needs to open another box?" Or at any time in our history, frankly. Do you know how many servings of Jesus Juice The Bicycle Man from that Very Special Episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" could've gotten out of 5,000 bottles worth? A LOT. 

So while I don't condone your actions Mr. Moreno, by God I respect you. There's something truly American about what you did. The anti-hero who sees what he wants and is willing rely on his wits and go outside the law to get it has been part of national identity from the very beginning. You're a rebel and an outlaw. Like a one man Boston Tea Party. A Jesse James. Butch and Sundance. Both Bonnie and Clyde. Clint Eastwood in all his Westerns. You're a smart, resourceful desperado who came up with a genius plan and executed it to perfection. 

People like him are what we are all about. And this caper was a nice little reminder that the current crisis may have us back on our heels, but the American spirit lives on. And if a few thousands of bottles of wine have to be spilled to remind us of who we are and why the rest of the world thinks we're incorrigible, deranged and selfish assholes, that's a price we should be willing to pay.