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Armed Short-Guy Convention In Front of the Michigan State House Is Creating A Bit of Short-Sighted Controversy

Damn. Some things, am I right? I've been off the market for almost 11 years so I don't know the struggles of modern dating but I do know this: there is a shameful amount of shaming folks who are under 5'10. I think 5'11 is just the right size where people don't care how tall you are. Height is nothing but a number, after all, and this armed fella is making a great point in his all-hat-but-no-cattle type-a-way, albeit a point that he probably could have made without his buddy doing a strong side muzzle down alert-in-the-dirt tacitcal carry but that's nitwitpicking.

My favorite thing about this video is that it proves we can hang our collective hats on the friends we've made along the way during the quarantine. It's incredible. Look at this dude in the white polo standing there getting the best cell phone video in the world for his new friend. Talk about gassin up a new pal. If your pal starts capturing you at the moment like this, with that form, you KNOW you are making some great fucking points and you'll continue making them until the sun dont shine on liberty. 

So, thanks for this reminder from our vested pals. We'd be smart to remember, as the old saying goes, that they who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin - Cowboy Hatted, Green Pants Thick Goatee Guy.

That being said, I would have done this speech a little differently. I would have gone with an extremely 

*Jay Leno Voice*

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Six feet of 'social distancing'. That's what they are saying now. Six feet. So, I gotta walk on the other side of the road to get to the other side of the road? Imagine being a chicken in this scenario. Just imagine it. You're walking. Whoops. Six feet. Six feet. 

This way. Thataway. 6 feet is what they are saying. Who's saying it? I don't know. I forgot my glasses and cant see that far away. 6 feet. Need my glasses to see anybody from that social of a distance. More like anti-social distancing, right folks? 

Anyway, great show lined up for you tonight. We have the wonderful Anna Kendrick. Yeah. Anna Kendrick. Wish I could get closer to her than six feet. Ha ha. Im just messing around. Anna will be here and musical guest Billy Strings. And after Billy Strings will have Bobby Drums. No, Billy is great. Isnt he?

We like to have a good time. Anyway, here's Billy Strings.