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Watching Matt Stafford Become A Human Calculator Is The Craziest Thing To Happen In 2020

Live Look At My Brain Watching This:

No #DISRES9ECT to Matt Stafford who is significantly more athletic, handsome, richer, and based on that video smarter than I am. But there are roughly a zillion more outrageous things I would expect to see Stafford be able to do before I saw him compute huge numbers in his brain like some TI-83. Throw a football across Lake Michigan, shotgun an entire keg, lead the Lions to a playoff victory. Okay, lets not get crazy. But still, watching John Matthew Stafford become Will Hunting was about as mindbottling mindboggling as finding out Matt Stafford is really John Stafford, which I just found out right now while I was on his Wikipedia researching his full name. Biggest name change twist in NFL history since I found out that Ray Finkle is really Lois Einhorn.

John Stafford is 100000% the name of someone who can multiply random numbers on the fly, likely while wearing a blazer in a house within walking distance of Cambridge. Matt Stafford is the fratty looking dude with the laser rocket arm that played college ball at Georgia and can win or lose you a game any given Sunday. I don't know what type of game Jekyll and Hyde game John or Matt or whatever his real name is thinks he's playing. But I don't like it one bit.

Obligatory human calculator videos that always make my brain hurt while watching: