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WE CAN FINALLY GO BOWLING AGAIN (In Georgia, Maybe)

FOX Atlanta - Gov. Brian Kemp says Georgia is on track to meet the criteria to begin easing social distancing and reopening Georgia's economy as health officials continue battling the spread of COVID-19.

Given the favorable data, Kemp said that gyms, fitness centers, bowling alleys, barbershops, and more would be able to open Friday, April 24.

Bars, nightclubs, and amusement parks would remain closed until further notice, the governor said.

Leave it up to Georgia to build a comfortable 28-3 lead against COVID-19 only to risk it all. Tho to be fair, the thought alone has me horned up. With or without months of quarantine, it's impossible to beat a night on the lanes with the boys and the cigs inside and the big spare pick ups while the frothy pitchers of GTLF flow like the ancient rivers of Babylon

And I'll be honest guys it feels good to get this horny again. It's the primitive kind of horny that can only come out after you lather up a nice lower back sweat and fulfill your competitive desires. In the old days maybe that meant killing a warrior from another tribe at a large ceremonial gathering. Something you and the entire family looked forward to the entire winter. Come spring season, you'd square off against the neighboring tribe with all the spoils going to the victor including somebody's sister and a parcel of land to build shelter from animal hides and local timber. It's a momentous occasion in your life requiring extensive training and focus and now the day is here. Win and become a vested warrior. A protector of lands who eats fresh beef and beds A+ trim. Lose and you die.

That's my blood flow right now thinking about a 3-game set at Diversey Lanes tonight with my squad. Just the thought of the pin action and the fist pumps has me so dialed in that my sperm count just tripled.You double up gifs when you can. These are lean times for everybody including bloggers. That's why the bowling fantasy is still a pipe dream for me. Even if they open in Georgia there's no way for me to safely get there without someone's private jet. But I'm an eco-friendly guy so literally don't even offer to fly me down. I'd say no on principle alone but also because I couldn't stand to be crucified on social media.

There goes Two Bird Carl. The guy who risked it all to fly private to Georgia to bowl a 418 three-game series with a used car dealership owner. - you guys live tweeting my first appearance at Declans

Smart or stupid. Right or wrong. I think we can all agree closing down the amusement parks still sucks. Even if it's a huge threat to spread the virus, I would still like to hear some arguments for the other side. Maybe a few laps on Raging Bull would be good for the soul: