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Former Newcastle Soccer Star Is Helping Fight Coronavirus By Attempting To Deliver 3.5 Million Condoms With His Face On It Via Drone

[Source] - Last month, Asprilla pledged to supply 3.5million contraceptives to help appease a reported global shortage.

And now the maverick former striker has found a novel way of delivering them to unequipped lovers, by deploying a fleet of drones.

The ex-Parma star  tweeted a picture of one of the flying machines carrying one his condoms - unmistakable as they are adorned with his face.

I can't stop laughing at how ridiculous of a move this is. The man - Tino Asprilla - started making condoms with his own face on it. Why you might ask? Because in 1993 a picture of him accidentally having his dick out during a game against Chile made world news. So naturally you take that and turn it into a condom company. That's just self-marketing 101 right there. 

Apparently there's a condom shortage coming too. I get that factories can't be there making condoms, but no one is using them right now. People are either at each other's throats and/or having kids. You're not slapping a condom on these days. Not during week 5 of quarantine. Sure, week 1 when you're in a new relationship and the honeymoon stage perhaps. But week 5? You're just trying to stay the hell away from whoever you're quarantined with. 

Look at that the fucking drone and package combo too. That thing is determined to drop 3.5 MILLION condoms. The face is a bit terrifying though. That's a way to kill a boner. Feel bad for someone who struggles to open the package just staring at Tino's face.